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Of course people expect things from others lol. Personally, I would decline if that is all he wants. I want guys who value me and put out more effort. I will after this. What other effort are you expecting from him? What exactly is it that he's doing wrong? Kinda like room service. Fair enough, it just strikes me as odd that she should be sabotaging this so quickly. If he was good enough to hook up with before, why wouldn't he be good enough to hook up with again since it sounds like she enjoyed herself? Legitimately what else should he be doing? Because to be honest, what he's suggested sounds an awful lot like some of the dates I took my now wife on.

This reply was removed by the author. She can have a hook-up if she wants to. She does need to know that this may be all it ever is, though. A weekend at his house is great, in an established relationship. You may well be right about the odds, but really what's the harm at this point. If she's worried about getting attached post sex I would agree with you, but that hasn't specifically come up yet. This could be a really interesting experiment. What do you think?

The cat's kinda out of the bag at this point so to speak so her not being interested in some form of hooking up in the absence of an obvious reason would be an indication that she's not interested in him.


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Same thing would apply to normal dating though so I'm not sure you can draw some sort of conclusion from it. Barring some specific reason, he does pretty much expect sex. You're turning a sign of respect into the exact opposite of what was intended. Using the same sort of logic I could paint her as a gold digger if she accepts his invite because she didn't organize and pay for the second date. Of course that would be stupid, so I'm not going to.

7 Unrealistic Dating Expectations You Need to Forget

With that in mind, is it reasonable to assume that they might exchange orgasms based on past behavior? More importantly, is there anything wrong with it if they do? I really don't see the point in killing a potential relationship before it's started because he might be looking forwards to seeing her naked On that note, lets flip it around, if she went and he didn't make a move would the OP not be justified in wondering what went wrong?

Maybe the no expectations was for her. The issue is, she and most women conflate the activities shared i. Ever hear some guy's response to cheating? He'll be like, "It was just sex!!! Next, women bond emotionally after sex, and again, using the OP as example, if she was cool with casual sex, she wouldn't be here wondering what this or that means, she'd be packing her backpack and sexy panties for this weekend.

Sure he could be a player, but I don't get that impression. As such, the idea that him inviting her out is a dumpworthy offense is completely bass-ackwards, but hey I don't have to live with those choices. On the flip side, if the OP isn't looking for a relationship and she just wants sex, I'm pretty sure he could be convinced to ante up. The OP is an adult in control of who she sleeps with and I don't buy the argument that women have such little agency that a glass of fermented grapes will spontaneously cause women's underwear to explode off them.

Give the OP more credit than that. Since the OP didn't mention that as a concern for her and was happy to hook up on the first date I'm going to guess it probably isn't relevant to her. Some men just don't wanna meet and f HotWife Send a private message. FWB wasn't a player and despite him being married we did stuff that two people who were "dating" do.. This is the absolute worst argument in the world.

How can a married man who is cheating possibly not be considered a player? And how could you think that is the same as what OP has described? Also, I kind of want to throw up now so there's that. Yes you are right I dont want a casual relationship. But I also want to know we are sexually compatible too so it's bit of a dilemma for me. Also the guy has admitted that he has used tinder to find women when he was travelling and he ended up sometimes hanging out with these women 'for a week' I'm assuming sex? I mean this guy is capable of casually hanging with someone for a week that he just met and moving on, how do I know he won't do the same to me?

Girlfriend, I hear you about the sexual comparability.

How Do I Deal With Unfulfilled Expectations? - Sadhguru

I used to get that out of the way ASAP cuz sex is important to me. I enjoy great sex and since I have no other need for a guy that I can't handle on my own i. But, unfortunately when you put sex on the table before a real connection is made, the sex can create an "illusion" of a real connection which will fizzle soon or if the guy is a player, he gets what he wants sex before you can find out for sure if that's what he wanted all along.

There's other ways to find out sexual compatibility without going all the way intercourse.


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You can see how he kisses, touches even touching you in general like putting his arm around you while walking - I love it when couples put their hands in each other's back pockets Yes that is always the risk isn't it. I do find men who are more intelligent but also self aware and caring tend to be better lovers They look out for your needs but have a level of creativity too.

When a man says 'no expectations'? - guyQ by AskMen

Then there are always Italians haha Well, I have a thing for "beauty, braun, and brains" And, you need an attentive lover. But, sometimes hard to find the threr Bs in one person: I love when my fav porn star does the stories with him in the glasses Ahh, I sound like a teenage girl reading a romance novel LadyKat Send a private message.

It means he wants sex, some fun, but nothing more. Supervillain Send a private message. OK so I need some more advice. Basically I told him I will let him know about the weekend as soon as I can and he kept asking me daily if I was coming. Deep down I actually dont feel comfortable driving hours to spend a weekend at his holiday house - this is something I used to do months into a relationship and even then I was a bit nervous would we run out of things to talk about etc.

He normally replies to my kissing emoji but he completely ignored it. Anyways, I logged online to see if he had been active as he hadn't been active online since our date and he had literally gone online straight after I told him I couldn't come. This made me feel sad for some reason.

How do I handle this situation? I dont want to lose him but at the same time I feel like I dont understand his intentions. Really, you should have at least talked to him about it over the phone or in person not just with a text. Now you're not sure where you stand with him. If it was me and I really liked the guy I would call him up and say something like "Hey, can we talk about this weekend? I'm really sorry but I'm a bit nervous about spending a weekend away this early on in our relationship. I really liked spending time with you the other night and would love another chance to get to know you better soon.

Are you free when you get back from your trip? Or maybe before you head out? Someone you genuinely cared about? I would be disappointed, but, come on. He was asking you to drive several hours and stay with him all weekend for a second date, not dinner and a movie. He is acting childish and unreasonable, in my opinion. When you say he went back online, do you mean the dating site? Yes the dating site, he went back online literally as soon as I said I couldn't come. The first date he did come closer to me in his defence, but I still had to drive one hour to see him. I feel that he just changed overnight.

He doesn't like talking on the phone and instigates text messages all the time so I just replied to his preferred mode of communication.

In The Meantime: Dating With No Expectations

I'll say what you said though and see if it makes a difference thanks. Call him and explain. Gage his interest, maybe. Yeah I called just then and no answer. So I've just left it for now. I've said sorry many times over text and that I'd make it up to him and he hasn't replied so I'll just leave it maybe he needs to cool off.

I do feel hurt he logged on so quickly almost like he is trying to find an replacement girl or something.

Dedicated to your stories and ideas.

Well, if this is the way he deals with things, you have dodged a bullet. You were unsure about the invitation from the beginning, and he was pushing you to do it anyway. See what he does tomorrow. Thought you did on the first date. Now I feel even more strongly that he is wrong to pressure you to spend the weekend.

We fooled around but not sex sex. What annoys me the most is that I set my dating app to only pick up local men and he only came up in my search because he was in my city at that time visiting, even though he lives hours away. So basically I feel that in a sense he presented his location as different because obviously he ran out of options in his local town.