Dating sites for ppl with herpes

They say to the rest of the world that we belong apart, that we are less than, that we are a hilarious PositiveSingles punch line. They send a progressive message to no one. Denying that is intellectually dishonest. Some of these websites claim to empower their customers. Maybe some people use them as a transitional tool before re-entering the wider dating sphere, and hey, cool, whatever.

Good for those people.

But they are just as often predatory environments where newly diagnosed men and women but usually women are bombarded with attention. Like other dating services, they can be unsafe spaces for women where harassment and coercion thrive. When you round up a vulnerable and isolated population, create a community space and fail to moderate it or protect your users, you create a dangerous environment.

These folks would be better served by a support community than a dating app. STI dating services are a product of the stigma, not an empowering way out of it. Not to mention that people with herpes are diverse. Having a minor skin condition in common is a shoddy foundation for a healthy relationship. I think most people who have had herpes for a few years know this too. The only people who ask me about herpes dating sites have just been diagnosed and are still daunted by the idea of disclosing—a fear I encourage them to tackle instead of pursuing these trap door dating sites.

Which leads me to my next concern: Some of them bring on consultants in the sexual health world, but only after the fact, and by and large their founders do not come from our community.

If You're Dating With Herpes, Having "The Talk" Can Be Difficult

These entrepreneurs may believe they have our best interests at heart, but they will never understand the stigma as well as someone who lives with it. They do not listen to the needs and opinions of this community, and they take funding and attention away from real efforts to provide treatment and testing, and to de-stigmatize sexual health. STI dating services are almost always unethical money-grabs that prey on what seems like a potentially underserved niche market.

This Silicon Valley opportunism is antithetical to real social change and progress. They reach out to me, share my posts and my talks on their social media platforms, and contact my fellow activists when I refuse to collaborate with them. You cannot say your service fights STI stigma when it relies on stigma to exist. What we need is better sex education and health care, access to therapy and more representation.

These companies are nothing but vultures, co-opting the language of activism. Get my name outcha mouth and get off my lawn.

If You're Carrying This STI, These Dating Sites Will Make Your Life Way Easier

I contracted HSV-1 unknown location in my late 40s. Like other posters, I would rather avoid the worry of passing the virus to someone else by finding someone that already has it.

• Why I Will Never Support Herpes Dating Sites.
• 40+ speed dating!
• what does it mean when you dream about dating someone you like!

My ex-wife had it, and I never worried about it. The irony is that I never got it from her after 17 years of marriage…I got it from a casual fling afterwards.

Meet others who understand what you are feeling and are also looking to move on with their lives. Dating with herpes can be difficult and at times, frightening. Meeting others who suffer from the same conditions offers you peace of mind. Our members understand you, understand your fears and looking forward to feeling normal again. Going on dates knowing you have a secret is stressful, so why put yourself through that, haven't you been through enough?

A lot of people are surprised by how common herpes is. Over 40 million of people live with this draining yet common condition, but only a few know they are infected. In the United States of America, 1 in 5 people live with the disease. Genital herpes has become the most prevalent sexually transmitted infection in recent years.

If you are living with herpes, you are not alone. For the record, just because someone has herpes does not mean he or she cannot date or that they are tarnished in some way. All too frequently, STIs are spread during an individual's first sexual encounter or simply because a past partner was not honest about their condition. And despite what outdated stigma our society holds all too often holds, having herpes in no way signifies the infected individual was or us dirty or promiscuous.

Do you think an STI-positive person tried to get infected? If you have HSV-2, you probably know some of the best practices when it comes to dating: Be honest and tell your partner about the virus, but at an appropriate time.

On the topic of rational, if you are infected, the infection alone is no reason to lower your dating standards or think of yourself as unworthy of a caring partner, physical touch and pleasure, or a loving relationship. Luckily, the Internet breaks down some of the self and society-imposed barriers that come along with dating with herpes, providing a transparent medium to interact and get to know others without so much worry about ignorant judgment or responses.

The virus becomes less important and who you are as an individual, you know, your personal, quirks, likes and dislikes, are elevated. These sites provide a communal feeling, and just being on them may do wonders to increase your confidence in offline dating as well. Most importantly, niche sites designed for people with herpes streamline the process of getting over the STD-talk road bump and allow you to make real, fun, and meaningful connections with others, all while remaining both safe and honest.