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Whether you are a woman or a man, please do not speak for all women. While men can still offer input, if your view conflicts with a woman's, we ask that you do not downvote or invalidate her response. What are your thoughts on dating a guy who is "too attractive"? One of my friends is getting pursued by this fantastic great guy who seems to like her a lot, but she refuses to give him any play, because she says he's too attractive that its a turn off.
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I found this to be super weird. I was wondering how common this is? Your submission has not been removed. However, it appears that you may have used language in your title that implies that you are only seeking responses from a specific majority demographic and could possibly discourage answers from parts of our user base. Please consider including language in the future that would encompass all of our members. As a note to our users, you are encouraged to answer this question as if it directly applied to you, substituting language that includes you.
Have questions about this moderator action? It only takes a couple of attractive assholes at key points in your life before you start associating "pretty" with "entitled bastard that will likely be awful to date. Either that or the friend just isn't into that particular brand of attractive but doesn't know how to explain it right. Like I'm not into the super muscled lean look but I recognize that it's "attractive" on a societal standpoint. Yes, this is how I describe Orlando Bloom. But he's too pretty for my taste.
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I recognize he's a good looking human but he's not the type I'm into. I don't like hyper masculine looking guys with butt chins; I can appreciate and admire it in a non-sexual sense that someone like that looks like a perfectly sculpted movie star, but it does nothing for my ladybits. I don't know how to say I'm not into that without coming off like I think he's ugly. This is a very valid point. There are a lot of insecurity related answers here which could all explain the unwillingness to date such a handsome man.
But it could also be a simple matter of taste. I don't like the 'perfect' look either. I mean I can appreciate how hard a man must have worked on those abs but it just doesn't do much for me in terms of attraction. In fact when I tell my friends something like 'You see that guy over there? A bit of roughness around the edges is more a turn on than turn off for me. I guess it makes sense, it might make you feel self conscious or like you're not good enough. It could be uncomfortable because he's probably getting a lot of female attention, which could make the feeling of competition very intense.
Or if you're somebody who's prone to be paranoid about your partner cheating, it could exacerbate that as well. As others have said, I could see someone being concerned about their own insecurities becoming too strong.
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But I could also see someone meaning that the other person is so conventionally attractive that it's almost the uncanny valley. Certain types of faces are so symmetrical or have such incredible bone structure that they almost don't look real. I have a real phobia about this sort of thing uncanny valley , though, so I'm probably projecting. The uncanny valley thing is very real although I believe you're more self aware of it than many people.
I was going to but then I couldn't remember names of anyone I've seen like this. I know there are actors, but I can't place the name to the face. Or do you mean examples of the uncanny valley? I'm not going to provide those examples because I really do have a phobia and the pictures bother me a lot.
The Pros and Cons of Dating a Hot as Hell Guy!
I would be a bit skeptical tbh. I will date the guy if I do like his personality but I think I would be guarded in the beginning. I'm no means ugly, but I'm not an Instagram model either. I know I can get cute guys, but someone with supermodel looks? I feel dating someone "out of my league" who is much more attractive than me would likely attract some unsavoury opinions.
Too hot to date: Is online dating harder for good-looking men?
That would be annoying to deal with and I might get insecure if I know he can get someone better looking. But I'm willing to work through those insecurities if the guy is honest and is there for me. I have, I've dated nfl and nba players, I've learned not to second guess yourself or focus on your flaws, a good personality can go a long way. Fake it til you make it. Insecurity is unappealing and confidence is attractive. You don't have to be perfect to be confident. I thought that way about my boyfriend when I first saw him.
I honestly found him very intimidating and because of that, I never imagined he would show interest in me.
The Cons of Dating a Hot Guy
I thought he and I might a few friendly conversations and that'd be it. I had no hopes or made attempts to pursue anything but he did. After time went by I got used to it, I still have some self esteem issues next to him, but not like I originally did because after I got to know him, I realized how silly and fun he was. He was far different from the serious good looking guy I took him for. I also now understand it isn't just how he is.
I think he has a naturally handsome face, but he has put in a lot of effort as well. He exercised, dresses well, and takes care of himself. He worked to get to where he is now. Maybe his attractiveness is pinging her insecurities and she'd rather let him go than realize she needs to focus on herself and work some shit out. I listened to a podcast, I wish I could remember the name, about this once. A fairly normal average girl was being pursued by a male model, and felt he was too attractive. They ended up dating, but her insecurities ended up killing the relationship.
Personally I think if you're legitimately secure with yourself "too attractive" isn't an issue. I understand the insecurity. I have trouble fathoming how anyone would find me attractive and there are definitely people I wouldn't dream of pursuing because they're way out of my league. No idea if that's what your friend meant, though. The concept of a "league" is self-defeatist bullshit both men and women tell themselves.
If someone likes you, they like you. If they don't, they don't. It really is that simple. I whole heartedly agree, however, there are those sneaky people who lie about liking you for other purposes. So being on guard for users is important, but shouldn't rule your life. Leagues are flexible, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all, but they're not self-defeatist bullshit.
Think someone's out of your league but want them anyways? You can often do stuff to be more attractive physically. Maybe it's because I absolutely have a friend who I was not attracted to, who then lost weight and grew his hair out all nice and became attractive, and then later stopped taking care of himself and went back to being unattractive to me. I'm not super shallow, but I'm also not blind, and how someone looks and dresses and such are definitely things that can change how attractive they are, to society but also to individuals.
It's never a guarantee, obviously, you can still not like even the most attractive person as a person, but it's also not nothing. Well I'm married now so it's pretty much inconsequential. But I don't think anyone is out of my league. If I get rejected, oh the fuck well. But I'm not afraid to talk to anyone. Worst thing that can happen is someone says no. No, I'm saying that plenty of people have some physical standards of attraction, and if someone is really into conventionally attractive people, they'll have better luck if they become more conventionally attractive. It can apply to personality and hobbies, too.
You don't have to think that someone being out of your league means you just give up, it can also be recognising room for growth.