But you are absolutely right, it certainly helps to have some contact with someone at those times. I go to this forum where we talk about food, lifestyle, gossip, whatever. I wish I had read this last year when I was going through an awful long distance relationship. I had borrowed the book from my sister and was dating a guy who in the beginning said he loved me, talked about the future, etc. I thought it was ME being too demanding, needy, when in fact my GUT was on red alert trying to tell me something was not right. It was a very sick, destructive relationship that I put an end to after 8 months.

He had an advantage in that it was a long distance thing and he could portray himself anyway he liked. I really thought he was the guy I had waited for my whole life and he turned out to be a total nightmare. Amen to this article! Yes, we all need alone time. Can men not be as courteous? All they have to do is say what they mean and mean what they say…that they just need some time alone! Love to hear what you all think. Rather than be clear about his change, he was a bit flaky in hinting that you had been dumped.


  • dating brussels english.
  • new zealand free dating websites.
  • Life, Love, Sex.

He sounds like a perpetual dater, and he figured the date was over. If you were looking for a shared life or life-long companion — Sorry. Thanks for your comments on my situation. Within days of his fathers funeral, everything changed, as though he now had freedom to pursue some of the interests he had been unable to do. So it was no easy ride dealing with the constant presence of someone from his past. So an absolute mess really.

Amazing that he spent so many hours , days, nights weekends etc with me……. So these are tough times………. Read so many articles on moving on my head is buzzing……I think the hardest part of it all is……filling all that time you spent with someone with new things to do. Being a single parent has to be about as tough a task as can be. There is no place for your girl to learn about relationships as thoroughly as what she learns at home. Hopefully she appreciates the dangers of the Knight in Shining Armor fantasy, and learns that a bozo will remain a bozo, or EUM, or abusive, undisciplined — lacking character — forever.


  • Are men really like rubber bands? Er…No (Part One)?
  • Kiss on the First Date?.
  • pua online dating openers.
  • dating avoidant attachment style.

But I hope she also learns, in her heart as well as hearing it said, that there are men of good character interested and able to be a good mate an parent. And that she is going to be the one that has to decide if being with one guy or another is good for her. Any time someone opens their heart and home to someone they hope will share lives with them, will be a comfort and support as well as someone that needs another to make a home, I pray that the choice of companion is a good choice.

Because our action, our choices, affect friends and family as examples and as joys or tears we bring to those we love. Both approaches appear to avoid some dangers, but both I think are extreme. A parent has to realize that everyone in their life affects the kids directly, indirectly, or both, regardless of whether the person in question ever meets the kids. If I had my druthers, I would say that moving on, getting past the pain, is important at first.

Did His Rubber Band Break?

But very quickly the point has to be moving to a good place. And any time you have a destination, you have enough work to do to fill up any life time. Instead of thinking of time you used to spend elsewhere, consider what you need to accomplish today, this year, and in the next ten years. Consider what you need to do to know that you never need to put up with immature and undisciplined crap in your life. Consider what your daughter, the rest of your family, and your friends could use from you.

Perhaps a counselor or pastor visit might help you discover priorities and opportunities — or issues you have been reluctant to face that are holding you back. Consider whether you could be a little bit — not a lot! Some interesting comments there Brad……my daughter has a very full life, and is involved i lots of activitities, including endless sleepovers, girl guides, dance classes etc. So a hard lesson. We have wonderful family and friends, so I am ever grateful for them. You had sounded like you were coping well.

My specific concern was what lesson in relationships, parenting, and how and when to choose a mate that your daughter is learning. The person who writes this blog is one intelligent, bright woman! Even if not, at least it does accomplish one thing: My dignity comes first. Thank goodness for that. I will NOT continue to be sexually intimate with a man that I discover is trying to see other women.

You're not going to crazy-make me! Why I won't be making sense out of nonsense and you shouldn't eit Comments This is dead on to my current situation. We have needs of our own that need to be met.

Are men really like rubber bands? ErNo (Part One) - Baggage Reclaim with Natalie Lue

I hope you are doing well and let us know when the baby arrives. NML, thank you, you are spot on!!! Looking forward to part2 and part3. Where this rubber band theory is problematic is where there are relationships with poor or non existent foundations I think that implies that in healthy relationships with emotionally available partners a certain amount of retreiting at times is not a problem. Alika, I totally understand where you are coming from!

Thanks for letting me vent! You have to go back to the source of the belief. None of those stores ever had a happy ending.

The Five Stages of Dating

After a month — he gave me a key to his place. Maybe that is how it works for them too…. Hi Brad K, Thanks for your comments on my situation. Dragonfly14, Being a single parent has to be about as tough a task as can be. Really, time is the limiting factor, not finding ways to fill it. Dragonfly14, You had sounded like you were coping well.

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience on Cosmo. By continued use, you agree to our privacy policy and accept our use of such cookies.

2 When Men Are In Love, Why Do They Pull Away Into Their Man Caves?

Find out more here. When a guy starts distancing himself, the smartest tactic to bring him back is to pull away a little. Read more stories about. Subscribe to our Newsletter!

Give him some time to reply and see if he will get together to talk about the last 4 years and any ways you may have crowded him or been too needy. I really think what happened is he tried so hard to please you in the beginning that he began to get nervous cold feet about being able to please you forever.

It could have been a subtle thing that you didn't even knowingly do, like he skipped a night out with the guys because he felt guilty about leaving you alone. If you find yourself in this situation, here are a few things to remember: This cycle is a normal pattern for men -- he is not playing with you. Every woman knows how wonderful it is to see your sweetie after some time apart. His heart feels that for you whenever he pulls away and it's a positive experience.

While he's regaining his sense of self, maybe this would be a good time for you to regain yours as well. Instead of waiting and worrying, why not visit with some girlfriends? Catch up on your reading. You are allowed to make contact, but try to speak his language when you do. One idea is to ask him for information. You can ask him something like, "Remember that movie you were telling me about?

What was the name of that again? I was thinking of renting it. Watch my video to the end to learn how to learn the 1 way women sabotage their relationship when a man pulls away. I hope this helps. Grow in love- John Gray.