Gordy takes five bucks from Cookie and tells the boys to follow him. He puts the five dollar bill on a piece of string and has Sweeney chase after it.

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He follows it through a classroom and out the open window, falling on top of them. Sweeney confronts Ned, but Ned is unresponsive. Sweeney asks Cookie if Ned is okay, and Cookie fills him in. Ned automatically goes to the principal's office to await his punishment. In Moze's class, she encourages the girls to find common interests with the boys they like.

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They get impatient and ask for her to talk about kissing boys. Moze says they're getting ahead of themselves, and they call her a fraud. She gets the class back under control and continues. The boys use the gardening club's float for Arbor Day to take Ned on a trip of "tip-ness past". With the help of various students, they recreate parts of Ned's past that led to the creation of the Guide, and how much it's helped people.

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Ned finally decides to write a tip, but can't think of one. Sweeney suggests taking a ride to get the juices flowing, so Ned hops back on the Arbor Day float.

In Moze's class, the girls ask Moze to take them on a field trip to see a boy. One of the gardening club wants a boy to sweep her off her feet with flowers, but Moze tells her to be realistic and that it's likely that will never happen. Just then, the boys come by on the Arbor Day float. Cookie hits the brakes sharply and Ned is thrown off the float. Cookie thinks he's hurt, but he turns out to be totally fine, and he has an idea for a tip. The girls in Moze's class cling onto the boys who were riding the float, and Coconut Head says they need tips about girls.

Ned is anxious for Suzie to call him once she gets settled. He realizes he has no tips on girls. Cookie tries to help, but Evelyn scares him into walking her to class. She tries to be polite, but just keeps yelling. Cookie finally admits he's clueless and needs tips badly. Moze offers to help Ned, but Ned plans to go to Gordy for girl advice. That is, until Gordy shocks himself on the job, and Ned changes his mind and goes with Moze. Cookie tries to get Moze to help him with Lisa, since girls are more relaxed around other girls.

Ned says Moze is helping him and Cookie has to find someone else. Moze has written her tips for Ned, who takes them to heart and decides to join choir to meet someone new. He bumps into Cookie, who is dressed like a girl and going by the name " Simone ". He explains to Ned that he's going undercover to get close to Lisa and find out what she likes in a guy. However, when "Simone" sings in choir, her voice is very deep, and Cookie can't disguise it.

Combover thinks "Simone" looks very familiar, but before he can say more, Gordy hammers the light switch, shocking himself again and causing the lights in the music room to go out. Moze asks Ned if her tips helped, but he says no. He says his perfect girl is Suzie, but she's gone. Moze asks him what he looks for in a girl, and he lists a few traits.

He says he'll know the girl when he sees her, because golden light will hit her just right, and a chorus of angels will sing. Just then, a light shines on Moze and a chorus sings. But Ned realizes that Gordy is just testing the lights, and Mr. Combover is directing the choir in the hallway until the music room is fixed.

Ned volunteers at a nursing home. Moze and Loomer try to fix up the school. Cookie works at the school store with Evelyn. Ned and Cookie try and bust Loomer and his book stealing ring. Ned becomes Hall Monitor.

Provides Examples Of:

Ned's bummed Suzie moved away and stops writing the Guide and Cookie tries to cheer him up. Moze teaches nerdy girls about boys. Ned tries to find a new girlfriend with Moze's help and Cookie goes undercover dressed as girl. Ned messes up his relationship with Suzie after he calls her. Cookie tries to win a car on a radio contest. Ned thinks he may like Moze. Moze works on a secret project while Cookie battles an evil power saw.

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Ned tries to get his brain organized. Moze and Cookie organizes the students against Vice Principal Crubbs. Ned tries to use the same extra credit project for 4 different classes. Ned and Cookie try to raise the money for the school but keep getting more in debt and Moze can't sell her last candy bar. Ned is in a major Social Studies class competition. Moze thinks she lost her competitive edge.

Ned tries to be friends with Faymen. Moze wants a friend to go shopping with and Cookie befriends the Weasel. Ned tries to cheer up the most negative kid in school. Moze finds out Faymen's kisses lack spark. Ned, Moze and Cookie try to raise money to go to a rock concert.

Ned takes Missy to a party and tries to dump her when Suzie arrives.

Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

Moze tries to kiss Ned and Cookie sneaks into the party dressed as girl. Ned gets Spring Fever and tries to break out of school. Ned and Moze try to get a juicy news story as they investigate a school scandal. Ned gets an itch he can't scratch. Moze steals the gross CPR doll so she can clean it up.