First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground

Those three elements are crucial if you want to get a response to your online dating opener. Weekday evenings are generally best — many women unwind from a long day at work by firing up a dating app while catching up on Netflix.

First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs

According to Nielsen , activity on both OkCupid and Tinder peaks at 9 pm, and usage starts to rapidly decline after 10 pm. On Bumble, the real action starts a little earlier, with activity peaking at 6 pm. And if you happen to find yourself stuck inside due to inclement weather like a blizzard, hurricane or rainstorm, put these first message examples to good use. NBC News did a little investigating, and found that bad weather goes hand in hand with increased activity on dating sites and apps.

11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses

In many cases, the increase was pretty dramatic. Send her a light-hearted follow up message like this one:.

The more messages you send, the more desperate you look. Women are too smart to fall for them.

The best online dating profile examples for females

Not only do copy and paste messages work , but we get incredible results for our clients with them. Other industry experts recognize the wisdom of the copy and paste method as well.

And even if a woman calls you out on sending a template message, so what? There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombie , band , tattoo , literature , studying , vegetarian yes! Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works.

Awkward , sorry , apologize , kinda , and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages.


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A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online. It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. It could be that women like guys who write mumbly. Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion.

11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses

These are the religious terms that appeared a statistically significant number of times. Atheist actually showed up surprisingly often times per 10, messages, second only to mentions of christian and ahead of for jewish and for muslim. Online dating gives you a bit of an advantage in that you can strategically plan that first message so it hits home with a bit of a punch. Unlike an everyday face to face meeting where the words just tumble from your mouth in no apparent order. So why is it that so many guys and girls yes girls too fail miserably in avoiding the move from the Inbox to the trash can?


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Extensive research into online dating statistics show that there are some set rules that we all need to follow. Netspeak is the main culprit when it comes to unsuccessful first mails. The words if you can call them that ur, r, u, ya, cant, hit, realy, luv, and wat, are the top nine worst words to use in an opening message. Mails that contain these words will get practically no replies proving that intelligence or maybe just good grammar is an attractive trait in both sexes.

First Message Online Dating Formula That Works (With Examples) - Beyond Ages

Surprisingly, though, ha ha and lol were considered ok to use. Perhaps this is because using both these terms shows a sense of humour, another trait many seek in a partner. But hehe , while still effective tends to sound a bit like a supervillain. Now it might seem strange to say that after we just told you to use correct grammar, but messages that start off with Hello or Hi come across as run of the mill and perhaps a bit boring. So while you should avoid using netspeak too much, using slang or an unusual greeting is considered a great move.