How to be successful on dating websites

Don't put all of your focus on online dating. Don't seem so desperate that the internet is your last and only hope to find that someone special. For all you know the right person is out at the library, coffee shop, or buying groceries. You have to be positive and think that way as well.

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People are not attracted to desperation. Check a few times a week to see if anyone new has shown up that may interest you. Thou shall not stalk. Do not hound the same person over and over, send them a message or two and after that leave them alone if they don't return your contact -- they're probably not interested.

When writing things about yourself tell people what kind of person you are looking for. Be humorous and upbeat, but be clear about what your interests are and the type of individual you are interested in. If you won't date a smoker, a drinker, someone with children, make that clear but not rudely in your profile.

Keep in mind that some smokers, drinkers, single parents may still for whatever reasons contact you. Some of the online dating websites are becoming more sophisticated in the way they match up people, but that does not mean that they cannot make mistakes. Always check someone out for yourself Google, Dogpile, etc.

Just because an emotionless computer thinks you may be a good match for someone does not mean that you are. Always have a phone conversation with a match before any initial meeting. Be highly cautious of anyone who does not want to speak on the phone before meeting, or comes up with repeated excuses as to why they cannot meet you.

Have no further contact if a match does this. Be cautious with the information that you provide a potential match. Do not give specific details about where you live or where you are employed. Take note of any discrepancies in the details the person provides you -- it's usually an indication that the person is misleading you. Always have the first few meetings and dates in a public place and always let a relative or friend know where you are going and who you are meeting. Never invite someone to your home during an initial meeting.

Do not drink heavily and do not allow anyone but the wait staff and yourself near your drink. Have a safety net.

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Have a friend or relative call or text you during your initial meeting to see if you're fine. Be alert to red flags, such as a person repeatedly canceling meetings, asking for money, or pressuring you for personal information or sex including nude photos early in your acquaintanceship. Cut off contact completely if any of these occur. Keep an open mind. Be optimistic and upbeat, but be realistic that even the most accurate profile and photograph does not always correlate to real life chemistry between two people.

Sometimes two individuals simply won't click, but sometimes they will. Asking for pictures is often a normal part of online dating, however, you should only do things you're comfortable with.

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Be honest and firm. Tell them when you may be ready to send them pictures, but don't give exact dates if you're not sure. If they're asking for sexual pictures and you're not comfortable with that, tell them bluntly.

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A good match should accept these boundaries. Not Helpful 1 Helpful If someone views my profile many times but doesn't send a message, what do I do if I'm interested? He or she might be too shy to initiate a conversation. Send a message and see what happens! Not Helpful 8 Helpful The person will like your profile and hopefuly be in contact. Beware of scammers, though -- they all like you. Not Helpful 4 Helpful Is it a mistake to praise someone's beauty during the first weeks that you chat with the person? You are both there to date, and it's good to share those things.

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It makes a person feel good. Not Helpful 3 Helpful I've already made the mistake of emailing too much after second date. Your zealousness probably scared the person off. Back off and wait for them to respond. It's best to survey the pickings on a dating site before committing to that service. Instead, people tend to register for a site, and then check out their options. This means they may miss the chance to find the site that offers them the best matches, Khan said.

As more and more people find love online , the art of dating has become a science, with data scientists poring over millions of fleeting interactions. For the current study, the motivation was personal: Sameer Chaudhry, an internist at the University of North Texas in Dallas, was having no luck finding love online. So he looked to his friend Khan, whose research focuses on aggregating scientific data to figure out the best practices in health care systems, to help him figure out what he was doing wrong.

Khan and Chaudhry searched the literature for studies on attraction and persuasion, including studies that specifically focused on online dating. The duo decided to focus on 86 studies that looked at how often an initial contact that two people made online translated into face-to-face meetings. The researchers found that people whose screen names started with letters in the first half of the alphabet got better responses — the effect almost as strong as that of posting an attractive photo.

It's not clear why this might be, but other studies have found that people whose names start with letters early in the alphabet tend to have more education and higher incomes, or it may have to do with a quirk in how search results are displayed, the researchers speculated.

In addition, screen names containing a negative word, such as "Bug" and "Litter," went over more poorly than those with generally positive connotations, such as "Fun2BeWith," according to the findings. The team also found that the men in the studies were more drawn to screen names that highlighted looks , with monikers such as "Cutie," while women responded more to names highlighting intelligence, with words such as "Cultured.

People also liked easy-to-understand language in a profile. Overall, women were drawn to bravery and risk-taking rather than kindness in males, while men sought physical fitness in women.



Photos that show a dater amid a group of friends — possibly even touching another person's upper arm — also do well, the researchers found. Though humor is a prized quality, it's better to show that through a witty profile, rather than baldly stating "I'm a funny guy," the researchers found.