We broke up, and my neighbor went to rehab a few weeks later.

I Dated My Next Door Neighbor And Here’s What I Learned

He moved out of our apartment complex shortly after he was discharged. It was fun in the beginning, but it ultimately led to partner fatigue. Unlike relationships with people who live farther apart, we would also run into each other at the mailboxes, in the laundry room, and even in the parking lot on our way to work in the morning. Especially when a relationship is in its earlier stages, too much of a good thing can be, well, too much. I kept ignoring the empty beer cans, convincing myself that one beer in the evening did not an alcoholic make — even though there was ample evidence that he was drinking way more than one beer every night.

The empty vessels mixed with what I now realize was intoxicated behavior should have compelled me to bail out much sooner. There was ample room for both of us to downshift into low-grade stalking and other creepy post-breakup activities. However, we both agreed early in the relationship to behave like adults if things went south — and luckily, we both stuck to our word.

There was a lot of hesitancy and fear surrounding the idea of getting into a relationship with someone who lived so close to me. The what-ifs simply would not stop swirling around my head. What if we break up and I see him with another girl in his apartment?

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What if he starts harassing me? What if I have to move to get away from him? And because I was willing to take a chance, I walked away from the situation with a better understanding of who I am. I was strong enough to identify and remove myself from a bad situation AND to identify the traits that I would absolutely not tolerate in a life partner, which has served me well in subsequent relationships.

My time with my neighbor may have been fairly brief, but during those months, I think we actually gave each other exactly what the other one truly needed — a fun, easy relationship, and the knowledge that someone we cared for lived only a few feet away. Or when you know he is out grocery shopping in your local store, drop in and explore a few aisles together.

Asking your Neighbor Out on a Date - Tips and Advice | Futurescopes

Use neighborhood events If you feel too shy to engage in a one-to-one chat with your neighbor, use a building get together or a neighborhood barbecue party to break the ice. Sharing a common context will go a long way in minimizing the awkwardness of making introductions; Unlike approaching an attractive stranger in the bar, there is less pressure when approaching your neighbor because you already have something in common to talk about—the apartment complex or neighborhood. Even if you have already crossed the introduction stage, a neighborhood event would be a great way to see how the two of you interact with each other.

If replying in the negative, you know your way is clear and you can make use of some shared interest or a mutual hobby to suggest an evening out together.

if she rejects you...

In fact a block party or a poolside barbecue one too often may easily lead onto a date. Plan it well Now that you have managed to get a date with your hot neighbour, plan things carefully. Also it would be a good idea to plan dates away from your homes. Although it's convenient that you live close to each other, make an effort to go other places as well.

This will prevent your relationship from growing stale and keep in interesting. Consider the pros and cons If you have been on a couple of dates and got to like each other, consider the pros and cons of taking things further. Proximity between partners can be a plus because it gives you greater access to your loved one, which makes it possible to get to know that person better. Then there is the convenience of not having to drive to pick your date up or drop her from the other end of the town which also means that you need not return early from an enjoyable evening at the nightclub or restaurant.

However dating a neighbor brings with it certain disadvantages too and one of the biggest is that is that you lose your privacy.

You are likely to give up boundaries when dating a next-door neighbor. A person will feel that they have greater access to you and think nothing of knocking on your door at odd times in a day or even late in the evening.

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Dating a neighbor means that you do not have the option of avoiding their phone calls or pretending to not be at home when they come knocking for they can easily see if your car is in the driveway. Then there is possibility of things getting sticky if the person turns out to be a jealous type of individual or unstable since an obsessive behavior can easily slide into stalking.

While all these concerns may be somewhat premature if you are still considering how to ask a neighbour out, it is best to be aware of all sides to the situation before taking the first step.