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Karen, who is based in the Valley, has been making matches since she was in high school — she introduced a couple in their teens who are still together today. She carried around a Polaroid camera in college, taking pictures of potential suitors to show her friends. Karen worked as a casting director and owned a talent agency before finding her true calling as a professional matchmaker. Under the guidance of her mentor, Mimi the founder of MyTopMatchMaker , she embarked on a career that has brought forth her true passion and talent.

The only drawback is that she can never turn the matchmaker switch off. She insists on drug testing, background checks and medical and financial screening verifications for all her clients. My clients enjoy getting dressed up, going out and having a great time. I do all the hard work in dating for them, all they have to do is show up and be charming … and I even coach them on how to do that!

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And has the matchmaker herself found true love? The answer is yes! Karen was in a bar in New York City with some friends when she noticed a woman, all alone, sitting at the bar. She thought for a moment about how courageous the woman was to come out all alone. As he talked to his date, he kept looking over at Karen. After they had walked out, he told his date that he had forgotten something inside.

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He went back into the bar and asked a waitress for a piece of paper and a pen. He wrote on the note that Karen had great eyes and included his number. Karen encourages singles to give her a call or sign up online for a free consultation. As Karen proves, the role of matchmaker is still a vital profession and an asset to the community. To book your free consultation with Karen, call or complete an online form at mytopmatchmaker.

August 23, 2: Although there have been tentative steps to introduce an online shadchan service, Sirota handwrites all her notes, and sifts information and evaluates possible connections in her head. She is dismissive of a computerised system. A computer has no intuition, and "when you write things out by hand, it goes up your arm and into your brain and stays there," she says.

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In this largely insular world, there is, according to Sirota, a spectrum of religious observance, from "black", the strictest ultra-orthodox communities, to "coloured", modern orthodox. At the "black" end, she says, it's relatively simple for parents to identify suitable potential partners for their children.

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The parents can do all the checking. What are they checking? The parents want to know how he relates to his friends, what his brothers do, what kind of family he comes from. It's a whole investigation. Once the checking — by both sets of parents — is complete and satisfactory, financial issues are discussed, sometimes assisted by the rabbi. Or they will rent one.

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Sometimes the parents will involve a shadchan. And the shadchan says, why don't we put this one together with that one? That's what I do. The young people would not necessarily be told what was happening. These are, she concedes, arranged marriages — but once the couple meet: It's not a forced marriage.


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The couple will meet a few times, usually in the home of a family friend, alone but with others nearby, before deciding whether to get engaged. Although a physical relationship before marriage is out of the question, there is no limit on how long they can date, says Sirota. If they are not engaged by the time they have dated 10 times, it's going to collapse. Sirota's enthusiasm for her work does not detract from an often far-from-rosy picture of ultra-orthodox family life.

Haredi women commonly have seven or eight children, some families stretching well into double figures contraception is permitted but unusual. Haredi men devote much of their lives to religious study, shunning paid work. Many families rely on state benefits and charitable handouts. Some studies have noted a rise in domestic violence; depression is not uncommon. Most of Sirota's clientele have come to orthodox Judaism as young adults; they are "newly frum" devout rather than "born frum".