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I didn't inform myself about "American Dating Rules" in advance as I didn't think there was much difference in German dating. We don't have any rules about where and when the first and the previous dates have to be, when the first kiss, sex, whatever should be and who makes the first call after the first date. We seemed to have many similarities and he impressed me a lot.

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I was sure that the "magic" between each other I felt, he felt as well. At the end of the date, we even kissed. He asked me if I wanna meet him again the next day and I told him he should give me a call when I'm off from work. He didn't call me and I was waiting, so I did.

He told me he was busy and that he would text me due to meeting in the evening.


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He texted me very late and mentioned he's been busy and he has to look at his schedule so that we can figure out when we can meet again. I didn't reply cause I was very disappointed and the message was not very friendly. Now I spent my time reading about how Americans date. Apparently, it was a mistake to kiss him at the first date and to call him the next day.


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  7. Maybe he's even dating other girls simultaneously, as I heard that is usual for Americans not for Germans generally. Additionally, I've heard about "dating game", however this "game" is supposed work, I have no idea Do you think I still have any chance or did I make too many mistakes already?

    Btw, he didn't contact yet if we could meet again maybe he's not even gonna do so. Please help me, I'm desperate! Share Share this post on Digg Del.

    A guide to dating the Germans

    I'm familiar with both North American and European culture s. In the US it is often considered normal to date multiple people at the same time, it's called multi-dating. While this is less common in Europe, it is accepted under formal rules in Europe. However many Americans think it's normal to fool around with multiple people at the same time while dating someone for a relationship.

    I'm completely on the side of Europeans with this. For Europeans this is a culture shock, it's considered disrespectful, indecent, disloyal and classless. That doesn't mean there aren't any Americans that don't agree with such practices, there are, but many don't even get it and would refuse to change their ways. It's a cultural difference and I side with Europeans on it. It's not hard to properly date with respect for the feelings of the person you date, but regardless some people refuse it and will only think about themselves.

    I've had many arguments on this forum about it. The people who justify fooling around with multiple people while dating someone for a relationship pretty much don't get it and refuse to properly date with respect to the people they date. Personally, for me, it's simple. I don't want to date a woman who's already involved with another man. As simple as that.

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    I'm not getting involved in love triangles just because some people don't even get basic principles like respect, loyalty, decency and ethics. Last edited by Nexus One; 29th September at 5: To date, half of her clients have begun seeing someone she initially introduced them to. It's more typical to get to know someone through an existing circle of friends, through work or through neighbours, she observed.

    Canadian expat Laurel Robbins encountered similar challenges in Munich. Recently single after a year-long relationship with a German, she headed to an Irish pub with some friends, noticing that no one there was mingling with strangers - even after a couple beers - as they would in North America. For a breath of fresh air, she turned to one of her favourite hobbies: There she found it easier to strike up a conversation with other expats and Germans, both platonically and as potential flames.

    Yet there was still shaky ground when she found herself on a date with someone from the group. In North America, it's playful on dates whereas Germans treat it as a job interview. Many Germans' detailed and analytical nature, however, has boded well for online dating, observes Shoup. They often tend to be more private people who like that it's easy to cautiously get to know someone online first.

    While every person is different, there is no doubt that dating websites and apps in Germany are booming, with one in five people using one to meet a potential partner in Stephan, 38, a German living in Berlin, turned to okcupid. He found himself in a more difficult landscape than in his 20s, when he met his long-term partner through work and after a few dates decided they were in an exclusive relationship.

    With online dating, he has had no problems meeting women, but instead of the third or fourth date evolving into something more serious, it usually ends. Shy about approaching a woman in German or English, Max, 30, turned to the app Tinder to find a partner, contrary to its application as an app for easy hook-ups. Yet in the end he met his girlfriend after a stand-up comedy show.

    It's not impossible: the ups and downs of dating in Germany

    Shoup herself turned to online dating when she did not meet anyone with serious potential in Berlin. In the end she met her dream man - only he lived in Vienna. Now the two are engaged and set to be married in Hamburg, where Shoup has seen a culture more conducive to serious relationships. Even in cities such as Berlin, she advised Germans and expats alike to get involved with meet-ups, whether cooking or dancing, to meet people with similar interests.

    The group InterNations is another resource for both expats and internationally minded Germans, and where a handful of people she knows have met their mates. She also urged singles to give speed dating a shot - even if just for practice making small talk with strangers. Where I'm from [in southern Germany] anyone you meet who is not a student is usually there for the long haul. The double-edged sword of dating a German, observed Robbins, is that they will exhibit honesty from the very beginning to the very end. The same culture applies to break-ups, said British expat Laura, whose German boyfriend of three years one day told her that he thought their relationship should end.

    In vivid detail, he explained he was interested in an acquaintance and wanted to see where it would go. She contrasted her own story with that of another friend, who found out her American husband was cheating on her when an alert popped up on her phone when she wasn't in the room.

    Robbins adds that when it comes to dating, she can always rely on Germans to be honest. Search Germany's news in English. News categories Berlin Munich Hamburg Moreā€¦. Membership My account Gift voucher Corporate Help center. Jobs in Germany Browse jobs Post a vacancy. Email newsletters Newsletter sign-up Edit my subscriptions. Other pages Apartment rentals Noticeboard Discussion forum. A couple by the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin. Whether on the market or coupled up, it's not so easy to meet and date in Germany.

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    The Local talked to a matchmaker and singles across the country to find out the difficulties - as well as the advantages - of dating here. Sign up for our free Today in Germany newsletter. Get notified about breaking news on The Local. Popular articles Essential phrases and customs to survive the German winter 10 things you probably only know about Thuringia if you live there Brits in EU demand to be spared from Brexit 'train crash' after May's deal rejected 'What a Brexshit!

    How Germany is reacting to the Brexit deal defeat 'They voted against my way of living': Brits in Germany on life with Brexit. Luigi - 08 Jun I somehow feel the article generalizes too much. Germans like facts and lists?