Goin' to the Chapel

One night we were out with some friends.

Why I made the insane decision to spend the rest of my life with a guy that I kinda, sorta knew.

So we tried to elope that night, but it was 2 in the morning and the wedding chapel was closed. So you start to fight to keep things interesting. You go on breaks, then you make up. You say hurtful shit, then apologize. You cheat or get cheated on. You decide to stay together because you are inconvenienced by the thought of starting over with someone new. Some people decide to get married after having been through all of these things while dating.

They hope that getting married will somehow salvage their broken relationship. Why not get married when we are in the honeymoon phase of our relationship? Why not make the honeymoon phase the foundation for our marriage? For us there was no convincing. We were simply convinced. His parents are still married.

He grew up in a stable, modest home, and he has a wonderful family. He had consistency growing up. My childhood was a bit rockier. My needs were always met financially, but emotionally, my life was exhausting. It was pretty much a clusterfuck. I felt safe with him knowing that he grew up in the way I wished I had.


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It also helped that our values were perfectly aligned. I trusted him with my heart. We texted our closest friends on morning of Sunday, July 13th, We told them to meet us at the Chapel of the Bells at 7PM. It was beautiful, simple, and stress-free.

OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY

I moved in with him right after we got hitched, and guess what? We still like each other! We have been married almost two years now. We fought so little that it almost felt unhealthy. Now we bicker, cry, get mad and yell. But we always work through it and quickly. The coolest thing about our marriage is that it still feels like we are in the honeymoon phase.

How Long Should You Date Before Getting Engaged?

I think that is because of the precedent that we have set for our relationship early on. For us, divorce is simply not an option. I want to give my children what I never had growing up…emotional stability, consistency and parents who love and respect one another. I hope that it was perfect and beautiful in every way.

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But unfortunately, Society makes us believe that this is the right way. This is the only way to get married if you want your union to be taken seriously by others. And at times Society has frowned upon us for having done it so differently. We knew that when we got married [in the way we did, as quickly as we did] that people would be judgmental, make bets on how long we would last, and think we were absolutely crazy. We have each other, we have a kick-ass marriage, we have two painfully adorable cats, a beautiful home that we have made together.

And we struggle everyday.

(Closed) Who got engaged at a year or less of dating?

But we love each other immeasurably. I will also mention that this story would be completely different if I married a guy I kinda sorta knew…but he turned out to kinda sorta be a psychopath. My husband is the shit. He is a wonderful man. And I am so grateful every day for him. I suppose I just want you to know that if you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them…you need to tell them.

You have absolutely nothing to prove. We are lucky to live in a country in which you can do whatever you want. If your gut tells you its right, then listen to it.


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Science has some answers if that's your question, but we're here to tell you that's probably the wrong question to ask. Mialon published a study in the journal Economic Inquiry involving 3, couples. The study looked primarily at how wedding spending affected marriage length the moral of the story: Spend as little as possible and invite all the people you can. It also looked at other variables, such as the length of time couples dated before popping the question. That study found that, compared to dating for less than a year, dating one to two years before proposing cut a couple's risk of divorce by 20 percent.

Dating three years or more slashed their divorce risk by half. For example, couples who said they knew each other "very well" at the time of marriage also cut their risk of divorce by half. As you might have guessed, when it comes to marriage, relationship length isn't everything. In Jane Austen's "Sense and Sensibility," the character Marianne Dashwood says, "It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy; it is disposition alone.

Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.

I married my husband after dating him for three weeks…and it’s working out.

But there's a lot to be said for disposition when it comes to relationship success. A study by Diane Felmlee at the University of California, Davis found that some of the traits that attract people to their partners at first are the same ones that cause the end of a relationship. The most common of these so-called "fatal attractions"? That brings us to another fact about marital success: The smartest couples think hard about the future. A study from psychology researchers Laura VanderDrift, James McNulty, and Levi Baker found that how satisfied you think you'll be with your relationship in the future is linked to your level of commitment and the work you'll do on your relationship today.

As relationship expert and university professor Eli Finkel told Business Insider , "The degree to which you're compatible right now isn't any sort of guarantee whatsoever that you'll be compatible even in three years or five years.