Now practically speaking, this means singles are seeking out people to speak into their lives. And I think those pieces are a much safer gauge than whether they highlight passages in their Bible and show up to service every week. How do you know if a dating relationship is moving too quickly emotionally, or too quickly toward marriage? If mere physical attraction or some kind of emotive, frilly, this-is-the-one weirdness is driving the speed, then, yes.
If the relationship is outpacing knowledge of character, reputation, and knowledge of godliness, then that is way too quick. So we have a staff person here who met and married her husband in a matter of months. She had watched him do ministry at The Village.
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She knew his reputation. Rather there was knowledge of his faithfulness to God, his desire to serve the Lord, and his seriousness about the things of God. I hardly knew they were dating before they were engaged. Has Facebook Ruined Dating? In your experience, in what ways has technology changed the way young people date today?
Do these trends encourage or concern you? If we are talking about a young man and a young woman who are actively dating, who have defined their relationship, and who know they are in a growing and committed relationship with one another, then I think technology creates an avenue to encourage one another and to connect more frequently. If, though, we are saying that technology has changed the game in regards to how single young men and women approach one another, before that relationship is defined, then I have a lot of concern about technology.
And so in that regard, when you have not established what the relationship is, I think it can be hurtful to constantly be involved in the technological realm, rather than the face-to-face realm. Any advice for inviting others into a relationship to that end? I think what we want to do is work really hard in our churches to create a culture of discipleship. In this culture, the norm, the air we breathe, is that older men are serious about seeking out younger men to train them, not just train them in the Bible, but really train them in what it looks like to apply the Scriptures to their lives.
What does it look like to serve, love, and encourage your wife? What does it look like to romance her? What does it look like to be a man of God in relation to your wife? Personally, I try to do this by having single men into our home.
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Lauren will almost always cook the meal. I will help set the table, and then afterwards that young man gets to help me do the dishes.
And that is just my way of going: So this is an intentional, organic, kind of culture of discipleship that I hope is woven into the life of The Village. On top of that, my hope would be that young men would seek out older men. And I have told them before: Can I get in your space? Whatever you normally do, can I just come and join you in that? The appeal of youthfulness in churches is so heavy and celebrated, and yet I have found, without a good mix of generations, you are going to get lopsided and silly.
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And the worst possible thing imaginable in my mind is a bunch of year-olds sitting around talking about life. If I can get that year-old single guy with a year-old married man, then I have high hopes for how that year-old will see, understand, and desire marriage. But then on top of that I think what you celebrate and how you celebrate is important. So we want to celebrate marriages at The Village Church.
And I want to celebrate women and men who have given themselves over to make disciples, whether they are married or not. They are still desiring marriage, and desiring a spouse, but they are not sitting on their hands until they get one. A common question from single men: If I am not physically attracted to a godly woman, should I still try to romantically pursue her in order to cultivate those feelings?
If so, for how long, until it becomes unwise or even hurtful? But I do adamantly encourage young single men to pursue godly women for friendships in the hopes that it grows into more. But he loved hanging out with her. So I just encouraged him to stay in proximity, to grow in his friendship with her, and to hope something would grow from there.
Godliness is sexy to godly people. Putting this question out there helps us keep Christ at the center of our new friendships and relationships, forces us and our dates to truly examine our faith, and it shows our potential mates that faith is a priority in our life.
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Besides, asking this question immediately weeds out those with whom we would be unequally yoked 2 Corinthians 6: Casual dating can be a fun way to meet new people, but it is riddled with ambiguity and emotional frustration. This can be a waste of time for those who truly desire marriage. Are you two free to see other people, or are you two seeking God and a long-term relationship—together? We should know that sex and all related acts before marriage is a no go Hebrews Debt and tithing are only part of a larger discussion on money management, and this discussion should occur well before you and your bank accounts become one.
Christians actually maintain varying degrees of convictions regarding tithing and debt. How can you determine in a relatively short amount of time if this man is going to lead you toward pursuing Christ? You are committing to helping your husband in that vision.
When a brother in Christ approaches a sister for dating, he is supposed to be doing so in order to find a wife, not fool around. After all, this is his sister, not his wife. Until she is his wife, she is primarily his sister and should be treated as such. This dating limbo can really cause unnecessary pangs to females who are swept up in the genuinely sweet and fun joys of a budding relationship.
The questions and his answers should address if he has thought deeply about the responsibilities of being a husband and eventually a father. They also begin to examine his current spiritual state. In the absolute worst-case scenario, you could find yourself marrying a man who looks like a believer on the outside but is actually emptier than a tin of chocolate chip cookies at a Sunday potluck.
You become one of my encouragers this way. Thanks for holding my hand, friend! What do you think the role of the husband is in marriage?