Take it from the top, boys Where it all begins What is Dissociative Identity Disorder? Insurance - the Evil Empire.
You guys wanted a post about what dating someone with Multiple Personality Disorder was like.
Support - online and otherwise. Relations wink wink, nudge nudge. Hospitalizations and Suicide Attempts. How Can We Fix This, docs, medicines. Denial - Not Just a River. What is my Partner Feeling? I vowed that when things settled down a bit, I'd do whatever I could to help others in this situation. I hope that this will be helpful to SO's, dissociatives, friends, and anyone who takes an interest.
If you have any comments, questions, or additions, please email me at the above address. Throughout this text, I will attempt to use humor to make certain points. Please try to take it as humor and not as a slam against anyone. Obviously, it stands for she or he, meaning your significant other. Please proceed at your own pace and with reasonable caution. The section titles should give you a clue about content. I spent 2 God-awful years alternately dragging my significant other, then following her from doctor to doctor, and she wasn't getting any better.
The working diagnosis was bipolar disorder, formerly known as manic depression. She had highs for days, followed by suicidal lows, which always led to hospitalizations. During the hospitalizations, I thought it really odd that every day I came to visit her, she asked me what she was doing there.
Preceding the stays was a period of regression and slurring later discovered to be a suicidal alter. She slept an awful lot. Whenever I went into the room to talk to her, she would get extremely crabby, and say hurtful things. Oddly enough, she never remembered saying them later on. No one was able to help. She went faithfully to see her doctors, but all she got was medical and prescription bills.
The hospitalizations got more frequent, and for longer durations. When she was discharged, she went through a fog for a few days, then returned to work. The last time she went in, the fog never let up. It was accompanied by voices.
First, I am not out to chastise anyone who suffers from DID
The psychiatrist gave her a drug for schizophrenia Navane , which quieted everything down, but after a while they were back, strong as ever. Oh man, are we in for it.
- The Significant Other's Guild to Dissociative Identity Disorder.
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- Symptoms of Multiple Personalities: When Your Partner Might Need Residential Treatment for DID.
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Well, needless to say, it didn't. Through the internet, I met a wonderful lady who answered some of my questions about bipolar disorder. It turns out she had dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as multiple personality disorder. The more she told me what her life was like, the more we began to suspect that something similar was going on at my house. My new friend broke the news to me gently.
My girlfriend probably had dissociative identity disorder.
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After another little while, I managed to get a little of this out of her. She admitted to becoming a little girl sometimes.
Dating someone who may have DID[TW] : DID
She'd race off to her mom's place, three hours away, at the drop of the hat, at five in the morning. She found clothes in the closet that she didn't buy. She knew she went to school, but she couldn't remember much about it. You've got a well-known psychological condition that's treatable. Thank God you're not schizophrenic. We'll just talk to your doctors about this. The psychiatrist didn't really deal with this disorder, but he mentioned that there was a guy who did, and perhaps we could have her evaluated there.
Distorted Borderline Perceptions and Damaging Patterns
This guy totally missed the boat. Her psychologist did actually deal with dissociation, so we were off to her office. Apparently this psychologist dealt with dissociation, but not anything too far to this end of the spectrum. After that trial by fire, we finally managed to locate someone who had worked with dissociatives before. Notice that she did not identify herself as a specialist. She saw my SO and waited quite a while to agree with what we already knew: The classic definition of dissociation is when you're driving down the highway and you arrive at your destination, not totally sure how you got there and you haven't been drinking.
You're ok, but you don't really remember driving the whole distance. Congratulations - you've just dissociated. We all do it to some degree. Dissociation runs the gamut from the above to forgetting more things, to the opposite end of the spectrum - multiple personalities. DID, formerly multiple personality disorder, is nothing more than a very creative coping mechanism. It is not an illness. They are not crazy. These people are survivors of all sorts of trauma in childhood, and it affects the way they process current information and react to everyday life.
After discovering that something's up with themselves, and the survivors will bear me out on this one, they might refer to themselves as freaks. Then they get to talking with other survivors and find out they say the same things about themselves! No, they are not freaks. They're creative and resourceful, and they're survivors.
Sometime in your SO's early life, generally before the age of eight, she suffered some severe, repeated trauma. This could have been physical, emotional, or sexual abuse ritual, religious, incest, etc. In uncommon cases, it can be a disaster that caused it. While the abuse was taking place, it was too traumatic for your significant other to take. Or think of it as the ultimate denial - " that's not happening to me " - so it happens to someone else.
This is why she doesn't remember being abused. She actually doesn't have knowledge of the abuse - someone else in the system took it for her. Typically, the host has no knowledge of what the alters did or sometimes they don't know that the alters exist. Different trauma can create different alters.
See - it's a coping mechanism. When I realized my girlfriend was dissociative, I completely rejected the notion that she could've been abused as a child. My girlfriend - a victim of incest?