Most Helpful Girl

So, my appointments are always the same: In a straight line. And I let it hair dry. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Most Helpful Guy

By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Meanwhile, I got rave compliments from my female friends. Thus, hair is remarkably important to our impression management in dating. Gwendolyn Seidman, an Associate Professor of Psychology at Albright College and author of Close Encounters , explains, long, lush hair on women is historically, and scientifically, linked to heightened sexual appeal.

For example, in studies asking men to rate the attractiveness of women based on hair length, women with longer hair are typically rated higher. She does note, however, that these studies do not ask men if they would refuse to date a woman with short hair. We may be able to attribute this behavior to evolutionary psychology. Be inspired by Jada Pinkett Smith's short-hair looks. Issa Rae also often has hairstyles similar to what you are describing. I don't know how she fairs on the dating front, but she looks very attractive, feminine and approachable to me.

I feel pretty gross jumping on the "I'm not Black, but She met a white guy, and they just got married! If you're having a hard time with the transition, headbands! A short hairstyle can look as feminine as you want it to look. You can absolutely use the old pictures you took. Add in a couple of new ones if it makes you feel better. People change their hairstyles all the time and guys grow beards and shave them off.

I don't think anyone would feel that you are trying to con them if your cute pictures don't show you with your current hairstyle.

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I don't know about flattering or not, though I second how great that cut looks on Naomi in The Expanse, but some of the black women of my acquaintance use weave to fill in when they have had a not-great short haircut. You don't have to wait two years to grow your hair out even if it is unflattering. As a heterosexual dude, I have no problem with women with short hair and am personally a bit mystified by the idea that hair length defines the woman.

It seems to me like if someone were to judge a woman based on that then who knows what other unpredictably specific standards they would judge one on. If a bad haircut was enough to destroy someone's chances of ever marrying and having a family, humanity would have died out in the s.

OK but seriously, you will be fine.


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Racial politics of hair even aside, someone who wouldn't want to date you with this haircut, I promise, would not want to date you for some other reason if you didn't have this haircut. And what would you want with a dude who couldn't bear a single less-than-amazing hairdo over a lifetime? Keep all your profile pictures. Sure, maybe add one or two of the most recent ones into the mix. If you just can't manage to fake that pure "yes, this is my best ever hair" confidence, don't try! But feel completely free to note that you're still getting used to it, learned the hard way about trusting Google Images, or whatever.

Dudes are humans, just like us. They get bad haircuts, too! And a good dude will appreciate someone who can be real and human, but show that she can roll with life's little foibles and insecurities. Like you, she cut it very short and Not only did he love the haircut, but apparently her willingness to gamble and lose made her much more intriguing than boring old me. Confidence, however, is attractive. Any hair style is fine as long as you own it. The only thing you need to do about your hair is quit worrying about it. Also echoing comments upthread to the effect of: If your haircut is a deal-killer, the guy is shallow and a waste of your time anyway.

Another straight white guy here. Absolutely not a problem. On the contrary, I suspect you might get even more attention, albeit some of it from the creepy direction. But yeah, there are a lot of dudes who are into that look. You really shouldn't worry.


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I'm sure you look great. It sounds like this is a big change for you -- give it some time, it can be jarring to see yourself without hair if you aren't used to it! If you still don't like it in a few weeks, try getting it styled slightly differently -- a short cut can look really different when even very minor changes are made. If you're really committed to long hair, you have protective styling options.

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Either way -- breathe. You look beautiful regardless of your hair length and you are not romantically doomed. Headbands or flowers if you want to feel more feminine! I love that look. I have long mermaid hair and I guy I had the biggest crush on ever once rejected me because he preferred pixies on girls. Lots of guys love it.

Seriously too, maybe this was an insecurity and the haircut is just a catylist for bringing them to the forefront.. I've had those moments and it sounds like something to work on separate from your hair. Relationships are about so much more than one tiny aspect of your appearance. Just one data point, but: I'm a white man who has dated a black woman with short hair before and I thought it looked great.

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In fact, I generally love short hair on women. I obviously don't know how your haircut looks on you, but this is in no way a categorical problem. If you feel you have to change your appearance to date someone - don't date them. Appearances change over time. Dudes lose their hair, teeth fall out, backs get hair. I'm a white woman, however I have tattoos and mostly buzzed at some points short hair.

It's not, it's for me. He loves it to be honest and said at points he'd want to see it all buzzed. He is a white dude who had dated women of color. I disagree with anyone saying some deeper insecurity is necessarily at the bottom of this. Bad hair days bum people out.