In love with best friend but dating someone else

But at times these opposite sex friendships can also be a great challenge. One of the most exciting, but frightening, barriers a friendship faces is when one person falls in love with their best friend of the opposite sex. The feelings are so intense, and the fear of revealing them can be paralyzing. But it does mean you have the ingredients to develop awesome love which could turn into great marriage. Someone once said great friends make great lovers. A lot of good friends can do things that romantic partners cannot.

Friends usually say what they need to say to each other without fear, and good friends are more likely to be spontaneous with their activities. This girl and me have known each other for nearly seven years and we have been close friends for about three. Eventually, we did start liking each other and we went out for a month and a few weeks.

I found myself being freer and I got to thinking: Find another good friend you can trust, someone with whom you can verbalize your deep emotions about your best friend with whom you are in love. This other friend will help you continue to show the self-control of letting a good friendship grow into an even deeper friendship.

Hold your emotions, get them out in a healthy way with another friend. Why chance ruining a good thing, at least for now?

If you see these signs, you might want to begin to talk about them with the good friend you so deeply love. After all, good friends should be able to talk about nearly anything. I think Jane has a great perspective: A really honest friendship will often develop into love without any conscious effort. And if he cares for you and stands up for you, he already loves you in a way already. First and foremost, good friends should know how much each person values the other. We make the mistake of demanding that many of our relationships be all or nothing romantically. Whether the good person you are in love with ends up marrying you or not, you have had the joy of experiencing real love.

Real love is rich, pure and self-sacrificing. To experience that kind of love with anybody is a priceless gift. In the meantime, enjoy the moment, they seldom come. Still wondering if it is real love? He too is in a relationship that has been on and off for the last couple of years. Sometimes I feel like he has feelings for me, but he is always hung up on his current partner and their troubles. I have know my best friend for over 14 years now and I have like him more than that.

Almost every time we hang out, we always end up sleeping together not having sex, nor making out , just lying there holding each other in our underwear. I always figured we just had a very close friendship, but lately, I've realized that I've always felt more. Since high school, my friends have told me that T has had a crush on me, but I never took it seriously as I thought they were just messing with me. During the last few years, I feel like he has hinted it but has never actually clearly said anything to me about it.

For example — taking care of me when I'm sick, telling me I'm the best person in the world, wanting to hold me a lot, telling me I'm beautiful, his favorite person, etc.

For the last two years he has been dating a girl, let's call her Anna, but every time I ask about her or her name comes up he has just been telling me that its nothing serious, that he's not interested in her, and that he wants to end it. Then he always asks me if I'm seeing anyone, and every guy I date is never good enough. But as he and Anna now live together she's moved here from another country for him , I really feel like he's been lying to me about his feelings for her — especially since he calls me when he's drunk, saying that he only wants to sleep with me and that he thinks he and I should spend more time together.

Things have escalated a lot lately. The more time goes by, the more I realize that I feel more for him than I've ever felt for any of my exes all long-term relationships , and I can't imagine a life without him in it. I think about him constantly, and as we now live in the same city again, all I want to do is see him.

His girlfriend doesn't let that happen much and we mostly just see each other when with mutual friends don't blame her, I think she might notice that I like him even if I try to hide it and I really want to tell him to get it off my chest even though it terrifies me, but I don't know if that is the right thing to do. But at the same time, if both me and T have been walking around for the last 12 years secretly wanting to be together, I feel like I want to give that a chance!

I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what would have been, but I don't want to put him in a difficult situation either. After all, we are attracted to qualities in friends much like we are attracted to qualities in lovers. So, what to do? Things are hella murky. If I were you, I would lay my cards on the table.

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I would tell him how I feel and open up that dialogue. Sure, all that sexual tension can be fun for a minute, but after years of this, it will be a relief to get it all out in the open. If he does not feel the same way you do, then you need to create a boundary, one that precludes cuddling in undies and other confusing behavior.

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And you may find that you need to back off this friendship for a bit, to recalibrate. Getting yourself in a situation in which you say you're fine with being friends but really aren't is a recipe for disaster. Another point to consider: He may like this murkiness because it allows him to get affection and validation from two women without technically doing anything wrong.