About 2 months ago I got caught by my parents with a guy I've been with for around 4 months. I feel really bad about it but at the same time I have strong feelings for him. We're very young and I know what we did was wrong and I try to repent to Allah as much as I can. We got really close. Since we got caught he cut off all communications with me and I know that it's the right thing to do. His mom is a teacher at my school and my mom went to her and they had a talk.
I thought my feelings will begin to fade but they're not and they're so strong. I just want your opinion on the matter than you. Lately I'm getting frustrated as I have found someone but I am in no position to marry. I'm starting to question the big deal regarding just being with someone. I mean, I like someone, they like me we have a connection it seems the whole marriage thing is a bit extreme in terms of that being the only way to be together.
It just causes more hassle because of the worry of not being able to support financially at the moment. But I have to stop myself from having a natural instinct towards someone and loving them and being happy just because I can't pay their bills at this point in time. I see millions of people who are in long committed relationships who aren't married and who are just living together.
Which I'm my mind is questioning the saying " a halal relationship never works". I'm a Muslim girl entering highschool and it's a whole new world. I don't want to get caught up in the dunia and do the wrong things but it's a bit difficult.
You would think that a girl who wears hijab would get a bit more respect and the guys would back off. No matter how many times i explain to them the reason why I can't date or play around with them like any other normal boy and girl would ,they just dont understand. The bad thing is that I feel like I'm getting sucked into this madness. In my head I begin to justify and validate some things that I did which I know are wrong. This is a cry out for help!!!
What should I do? How do I stop myself from getting caught up into all this craziness? Honestly, there is no way to stop this. It all depends on you and the will that Allah has given you. I am male so I cannot completely relate but I can tell you this. This madness isn't going to stop. I am sorry for being brutally honest but it isn't the truth.
Muslim Rules on Dating
One thing you might want to consider doing is telling your school counselors what is happening. My best friend, who is female, has had this problem. She talked to her counselor who thankfully understood and somehow managed to put her in all female classes. It doesn't have to be a counselor, just somebody. I don't know you. You have no idea who I am. As one of my sisters, I care for you I am sure you wouldn't trust me.
Dating In Islam: Why Muslims shouldn't Date and why YOU shouldn't either. | PhilAsify
Do not take to the internet to ask for solutions. Ask, friends, family, whoever you trust. This is all the advice I can give. I read your article and it was very interesting. But, in today's modern society, it is considered "weird" to ask someone to marry them without actually having an intimate relationship with the person first. And, distancing yourself from the person you "crush on", could make them move away from you too and then you lose them as a friend and a partner. As a Muslim, I am always taught to trust in Allah and that he will guide me. But, I can't deny that I'm worried that if I don't pursue the relationship, I will never find out if she is that special someone.
Can We Date in Islam?
I would love to here your thoughts on what I have said. Thank you in advance. Sorry for the late reply. Muslims aren't perfect me included. What I laid out in the article is what should be done but again since we're imperfect, we may not be able to follow it perfectly and that's why we pray to God for guidance, help and forgiveness and try to do the right thing as much as possible.
You can pursue the relationship, there's just a right way to go about it. Asking to meet her parents if possible. Meeting and talking with eachother in safe settings where you wont end up having sex and getting intimate. Easier said than done but as Muslims we have to strive and TRY to do that right thing. You got a very nice article. It was really well written and very interesting that i couldn't do anything but to keep on reading. After some effort to figure this dating thing for my self i also came across some useful articles that worth reading. Donn't thank me; what are friends for?
Now he wants to not have relations for at least 90 days so we can get to know each other better. Is this a practice in Muslim faith? That's not a practice of the Muslim faith, that is a Muslim man feeling guilty that he is doing something he shouldn't be doing. I am currently dating a boy. I am Muslim and he is not. U explained to him I can not do any kissing or sexual things. Is that still a sin or not? Could you please help me out because I have been searching for an answer but can't find one or if you could give me your opinion it would mean a lot.
Yes it's a sin. Again we Muslims aren't perfect. We are built to make mistakes and screw up.
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We have to try as much as we can to do the right thing. You may think a hug is innocent but in Islam it says to not follow the footsteps of Shaytan. A hug could eventually lead to a kiss, a kiss could lead to clothes coming off and sex eventually. It may not be happening now but it COULD happen and Shaytan definitely wants it to happen and its more likely to happen when you two meet alone.
As a Muslim girl I would advise you not to meet the boy in private. If you have an interest in him, let it be known, don't hide it parents must know. If you're too young to get married, avoid the relationship. If you are serious and feel you are mature, have a conversation with your parents about it. That may seem scary but it's better than making mistakes down the road and hiding your struggles.
Thursday, May 3, Dating In Islam: Though this article is directed towards Muslims, it applies to everyone in the realm of dating, those looking for love and coming up unsatisfied etc. New York Times -Cheating and casual no string attached premarital sex are at all time highs. Believe me, I have spent many nights racking my brain trying to figure this one out for myself back in my teenage years. I yearned for that one magical verse or explanation that makes everything clear.
Let me break the suspense by saying that I have yet to find that one verse. The good news is that my search has given me a much better understanding of this difficult question. To put it bluntly: It sucks out your soul. The "game of dating" --especially if you're a Muslim-- inevitably spins out of control and becomes very hard to maintain. The real challenge to your faith starts when the attention shifts away from the needs of your soul to the needs of your body and drains your efforts to increase your remembrance of God. I am pretty sure that no matter how strong you think you are, this soul drain is bound to happen when you invite the process of premarital dating to your life.
If you feel you can date someone without the physical stuff, you gotta be real with yourself. For some, there may be a sincere intention to have only a platonic social interaction with a person. In this case, the relationship should be called a friendship, not dating, and all parties involved should have a clear understanding of this from the very beginning without any room for guesswork or temptation.
Even then, what one day seems like just a friendship may develop into something more. Let's look at if from another angle. The classic argument to support physical relations is claiming that the person is "rightfully yours.
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Based on the flawed reasoning, sexual relations with someone who is rightfully yours is not as bad and makes you feel less guilty about your actions. If you think about this line of reasoning carefully, you will find some big problems. The least important is the fact that you are probably years away from being ready to tie the knot. Of course, completing your education, having a source of income besides your weekly allowance , and setting up a place to live other than your parents' house are useful little details which may have skipped your mind.
And aside from that, how about learning the Islamic basics of marriage, the rights of the spouse and readying yourself to making a lifetime commitment?