If you made a rule to not date or hookup with other people, stick to it

I’m Taking A Break From Dating To Focus On Myself (And I’m Happier For it)

You feel aimless and lost. Your personal life is complicated, and so is your love life. You like the idea of falling in love more than being in a relationship.

8 Signs You Should Definitely Take a Break From Dating

You feel that dating is work and no one can catch your attention. You view dating as a means to an end.

20 Signs You Need To Take A Break From Dating Right Now | Thought Catalog

Rather than getting to know him first, you immediately want a relationship status. You unconsciously want to sabotage your own happiness. You expect love to fail before it even begins. Each time a new tab is opened a quote is revealed, including the source of the quote love! Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.

You may unsubscribe at any time. That along with a dating hiatus are allowing me to cope with the rage and hurt I can feel towards the ex. It is all small steps, but I have gained a great deal of confidence in myself.

23 Quotes To Help You Get Over A Terrible Break Up

I am realizing the beauty of my quirky self. I still struggle with my familial relationships as I am the oldest of a dysfunctional family. I always want to fix things and end up getting overwhelmed. I always sought men to save me from my difficult family. But my divorce provided a type of hiatus. I did not know it then.

It has become an opportunity to become more self sufficient and to take more responsibility emotionally. Now I am ready to focus on achieving some benchmarks for myself and also as an example for my children. It is a process. But I am so thankful for this site as a resource. I always come back to it. It sounds like you really did the right things for yourself! I have to be there for my children, after all. I want to show my children that you can recover from something like this and that happiness does not depend on having a partner. I would also like to show them some time that I can be in a healthy relationship again.

I have heard from so many woman who have stayed alone entirely after an experience like this. One of my friends tilde me after her father had left her mother in similar circumstances she never had a relationship again. And this is what scares me a bit. I feel a lot better realizing it is probably still good and healthy for me not to look for a new partner and recover. Myex has a new family, the children seem to cope fine, and I am just sad and scared. And a third voice sometimes says I should just accept that il will be alone from now on until the rest if my life and I should get used to that and learn to be happy this way.

I think when it comes to new relationship I have lost all hope that something will turn out well. I had no clue what was going on with my husband until the day he left me. How did you manage to build up trust and faith again?

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Do you think you have fully recovered and how long did it take you? Do you manage to avoid wanting to fix things and getting overwhelmed now? Do you have shared custody? Hi Lucy, the best way for me to think about this work is that it is a process. I have not fully recovered, but I do feel I have grown.

I am still working on my trust and faith, but I am opening myself up more to life. I am not as naive as I was in my marriage and realize that there are people who are users and I need to listen to myself when I hear or see red flags. I am trying to be more conscientious about who and what I assume and listen to myself more before I take on anything. I am trying to do more for myself including therapy because I found that I struggled more emotionally without the help.

Keep the focus on yourself and your children. Lucy, Take the focus off of dating. You need to rebuild the relationship with yourself before you can consider dating.

Food is Medicine

Knowing that people have made it through these really horrible experiences and live wonderful, thriving lives-single or not- is what I want for myself and the example I want to set for my children. My children are precious and I will never put them in a situation with someone I am dating until I am certain that person can pass my BR radar. Grieve as you need to Lucy, but when you are ready, start doing what you need to take care of yourself. Happy b, Rebuiling in Brooklyn, Allison, thank you all so much for your kind komments!


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Take care of yourselves. I hope that all your kindness comes back to you! It is about taking time to nurture we who are and what we really deserve. I thought I had taken a dating and relationship hiatus!

I thought it was the only way for me to get over the soul destroying past. At first it felt great. I felt wanted and attractive again and I was able to push all the pain to one side. Little did I know that this guy was in some ways very similar to the exAC, both cold and controlling. It felt terrible and all the old feelings of unworthiness and pain resurfaced.

What happened with AC1 still hurts. It was two years ago, but I miss my baby again and I desperately want him back. Am I ever, ever going to be free of this pain. I think that both of these men were safe for you, as you knew they would never let you in: AC number treated you like absolute garbage! Honestly, what do you miss about the relationship? How was it fulfilling? Do you miss the constant drama? Until you address your own EU issues, you will be in the same place.