I winked, I made her a favorite. She looked at my profile. Guess I am not attracting the ladies any more. This is too hard. There's no one out there for me.
They want women younger, thinner, richer, smarter Let's face it -- these women don't want just a decent but ordinary guy like me. They want someone taller, richer, with more hair. They want a stud. I just don't have much left to offer. It's over bubba, throw in the towel.
A Fish Story For Anyone Who Does Online Dating
Give in to loneliness, it's not so bad. You have your kids and grandkids and golf and sports and let's face it, kiddo, you already had your life. Here's how I believe you and I can cut through a good deal of the angst about this "thing" called online dating: Yes, online dating is fishing. It's a sport, it's a game, and if you do it with the right attitude it can also be great fun. Before you reel in the big fish the perfect partner you have in mind allow yourself to enjoy the process -- smell the salt air, eat the sandwiches, drink the sodas or beer, revel in even the brief encounters you have with other people on the fishing boat, and generally see it as another adventure.
I was in Florida last winter for ten days, with a lovely man. Ultimately we found out we had incompatible agendas and were not able to make a go of it for the remainder of our lives. But for the several months we were together it was magic. One day he asked me if I wanted to go fishing with him, or stay back by the pool. Fishing was an activity he loved and indulged in often, with all the right equipment.
Would You Utilize an Online Dating Site for Single Anglers?
Though I had never been fishing, I said I would be delighted. I was happy to share the experience with someone I really liked, and curious as to what the allure was for him and for countless others.
Would he mind teaching me how to fish? Gladly, he said, and gave me the shorter of the two "special" fishing poles he kept down there for his winters away from the frigid north. He did show me some basics: On the reeling in part -- that should have been IF. I learned that some days the fish bite, some days they don't. This was one of those days when, to compensate for the fish not biting in one area, the captain of the fishing boat we were on kept moving us further out as he tried to find us schools of fish with his special instrumentation, which allowed him to see many fathoms down.
Now we still had four hours ahead of us. A comfortable, if at times tedious, four hours, but with delicious sandwiches and cold drinks and of course the iPhones and other devices everyone had with them -- there is no getting away from technology anymore even if you are a fish, but that is another topic. There were also a few neophytes like me, who had never even held a rod, and we kept having to ask for help to untangle our reels when we let the line out too fast or caught a bunch of seaweed instead of the fish we thought we were reeling in.
Personality to the end, I figured what I lacked in finesse I could make up with enthusiasm. So when someone did catch a fish I was right there at their side congratulating them, as the poor thing they caught twisted around until it quickly thank goodness gave up the ghost, or however you can describe the demise of a fish. For most of those four hours nothing was biting on my line, except clumps of seaweed. But boy oh boy was I learning some incredible life lessons. The people around me were catching fish, but not many that were big enough to keep. Those that were too small had to be thrown right back in.
Others were big enough but were not in season and so, by law, had to be released unharmed. What tales they could tell! It took almost the full four hours but I did finally catch a fish. Medium size, and fortunately one that was in season.
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My companion was so relieved and thrilled for me that he had one of the boys take my picture with that fish. Much later, people I showed it to said, "Oh, was that the bait? For one thing, I had totally enjoyed the entire new experience. Most of all, I appreciated my fish. Of all the fish in the sea and all the other fish hooks he I am sure it was a he could have glommed on to, this medium size fish 6 inches; no comments on size please , he had taken MY bait.
Here are my lessons learned that are applicable to online dating, which occurred to me while I was on the open waters of the Atlantic that afternoon:. The experience of online dating is just that: It is not a measure of your worth, and it is not usually even about you.
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Sometimes the fish are biting, sometimes they're not. If they're not, you cut bait and move to another part of the ocean. In other words, change what you are looking for, try another online dating site, or take a bit of time off to give the pool of fish a chance to refresh, or to get hungry again. New fish are always coming in.
If the fish don't like what you have on the hook, and enough time passes, try different bait. Rewrite your self-description, change your photos, maybe work with a professional photographer and be captured under better lighting where some of the wonderful lines that make your face so unique don't show up quite as starkly. Find out more here.
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