If you send an invitation to "John Doe and Mary Roe" at John's address, and he and Mary have broken up between invitation time and wedding time, Mary isn't going to come to your wedding, promise.


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And you don't have to send Mary a separate invitation at her address if you know her primarily as John's gf. Write the names of each person who is invited on the save-the-dates. This is the one true answer. It is improper for invitees to assume that their SO is invited automatically so if you address to just your friend, they may assume the SO is not invited , and it's weird to invite someone you know as "and guest".


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For an added bit of caution, if you are legitimately concerned that a particular couple is likely to break up before the wedding, address it to "John and guest. Most of our coupled friends were invited by name: A few couples were in a place where there was some serious tension, to the point where the primary friend wasn't sure if they'd even be bringing their partner regardless of whether they broke up or not, so we addressed the invite to "Bob Jones and Guest" rather than "Bob Jones and Antonio Banderas.

Except in one of two cases, the only people who got an invite that said "and guest" were the people who weren't part of a couple. Depends on the friend and the friend's relationship. You have absolutely no control over how comfortable your friends feel with being addressed as a couple - they might be thrilled to get their first official on-paper acknowledgement that they go together, or they might be terrified.

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That's not your problem. Just do what you're going to do, and have an idea of what you'd want to have happen if a couple broke up. Consider how you're treating your currently-single friends.

Q&A: Invitations: Addressing One to an Unmarried Couple?

It would be nice to make sure John and post-break-up-Frank are treated the same. Don't worry about it. Sending each an individual invite is also fine. Sending one invite to both parties is also fine. Seriously, if someone is going to get upset about this, it's probably someone who is going to find something to get upset about regardess. I am sure you know this, but if any of your friends live with their SO, you must include the SO by name on the invitation.

How to Address Wedding Invitations - Real Simple

For seriously-dating non live-in SOs who you've met and are friendly with, an invitation to Friend and SO by name mailed to Friend's home is the way to go. If they're living together and you know the SO, put their name separately: Bryan Anderson and Ms. If we broke up, I don't think he'd be invited on his own. If one of your couple friends broke up, would you be okay with them bringing someone they have been with for less than 6 weeks?

I would invite couples you know by name - if they live together there is really no other polite way to do this. If they don't live together, I would only send the invitation to the house of the person who you are actually close to, but name their significant other if you know the SO. If you are equally close to both parts of a non-cohabitating couple, and would want them to both attend regardless of their relationship status, send invitations to both of their houses.

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For the couples that you think might break up in the next few weeks, you could hint around that you are inviting their SO ie ask how to spell their SO's name, mention seating at the wedding, whatever and see if they don't plan on being together at the time of your wedding. I think the vast majority of the time, if they broke up in the interim, only your friend would show up. The only trouble you might have is if their SO mistakenly believes that they are just as close a friend to you, or is really socially inept. Unless you're ok with them bringing someone else if they break up!

I sent invitations to whomever I knew better, even if they weren't living together. Why waste an extra invite.


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  • Also, I think it's rude to write "and guest" when you can ask the person what their SO's name is. If you know the persons names, I'd put both names on the envelope-and send it to the ones your actually friends with or better friends.

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    If though, they are both good friends and you'd be inviting them both even if they weren't dating, its nice if they get a separate invite each. Log in Join now. Invitations for Couples who are dating!? Melissa , on August 22, at 7: Notify me when new comments are added in this discussion. If a couple is dating, the invitation should be written as: Friend's Girlfriends Name Address If you know her better than you know him, then you can swap it.

    If you know the persons names, I'd put both names on the envelope-and send it to the ones your actually friends with or better friends like, Mr Jon Doe and Miss Jane Doe If though, they are both good friends and you'd be inviting them both even if they weren't dating, its nice if they get a separate invite each. Comment on this discussion. Download the WeddingWire Planning App.

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