Chemistry Jokes and Riddles
Funny Jokes

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As of now, we do not have a rule regarding racism or other 'politically incorrect' topics. This is subject to change, provided your fellow punsters do not abuse our current good behavior. However, please keep your jokes in good taste, and keep them around a PG level. If your joke is a bit more insensitive, use the NSFW tag. I will not remove any jokes that are NSFW tagged provided they do not break any of the other rules!

Scientist Realizes Important Flaw in Radioactive Dating

Maybe I should give up dating carbon-based lifeforms and just go with carbon instead. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. Log in or sign up in seconds. Submit a link to a pun.


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Submit an original text pun. We would like to apologize for not adding more jokes What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Wow, carbon dating has improved in recent years! : Jokes

Never lick the spoon! Helium walks into a bar, The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here. Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O.

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? He got Avogadro's number!

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it. Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up: Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.


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  • The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

    Science Jokes Explained

    What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? If H 2 O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H 2 O cubed. What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar? A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer? What do you do with a dead chemist?

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    What did one ion say to the other? I've got my ion you. Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber? To reduce his carbon footprint. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?