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I want to be in a relationship, but not if it messes things up for my kids. I don't have sex with someone who I'm not married or engaged to under the same roof as my kid.

I don't want her to be hearing or seeing anything she shouldn't. If you ask to meet him and I say 'no', that means I'm not sure about you yet.


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More from The Stir: My ex is my kid's dad and we'll always be in contact, so you had better be able to handle that. I have a 2-year-old!

11 Strategies for Dating as a Single Mom | Parents

I can't run off for a long weekend trip at the drop of a hat. I used to spend months wondering if someone was right for me and playing all the games. Now I just don't have the time or energy for that.

It is either working or not. If it isn't working, I'm quicker to pull the plug now than I was before. I'm looking for a partner for me. If we work, then we can talk about whether you'll be a part of my kid's life. Don't just assume I'm dying for someone to be a father figure. He has a dad and it isn't you. Don't date me if you are expecting me to either have a perfect body or to apologize for the body I have.

I made a person!

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I was shocked to hear this from Jill G. How can dating be a priority when there are so many other things to do?

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I have brought my daughter on a brunch or coffee date. Sometimes scheduling a date is easier if I can bring her. Diana says she simply got a bad feeling when speaking to one guy over the phone.

Finding LOVE when you're a SINGLE MOM!!! - My Story

She mentioned on the call that she lives across the street from a park and suggested they meet there for a first date. It was when he suggested that he pick her and her daughter up for a car ride to the park, that she felt major red flags. She decided to cancel the date in that moment.

If your gut is telling you something is off, listen!

12 Brutally Honest Rules for Dating a Single Mom

Diane remembers her own mom dating when she was younger. That distinction is important because it changes the power dynamic. If you feel guilty about leaving the little ones to go out and date, take Jill's mindset: