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The fetishization Asian-American women have to deal while dating is pretty widespread. Has that affected your dating life? One of my biggest gripes with the fetishization of Asian women is that it reduces us to purely physical objects, associated with being docile and obedient. Well, I had a fairly matriarchal upbringing, which is common among Filipino families. My mom assumed the position of financial and familial authority, and my dad supported that dynamic entirely, taking on the role of raising my sister and me at home.
This dynamic translated into my views of masculinity and feminism, and ultimately, my dating preferences. I value my independence, financial and otherwise, and have always been drawn to men who find my independence to be empowering, not emasculating. Needless to say, they were immediately disappointed. Do you date Asians exclusively or have you had experiences with interracial dating? Fortunately, instead of minimizing my concerns, my current boyfriend a white male listens to my grievances and makes a conscious effort to advance the cause of racial and gender equality.
I think the pecking order is something along the lines of: How do your sexual orientation and gender identity affect your dating life as an Asian-American? Growing up in an extremely religious Korean household, almost everything was forbidden. Unless they were white; oddly, my mom thought that was more palatable because she was fed this idea that white equals success.
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When I was 12, I remember being attracted to women. Korean culture puts a heavy emphasis on social status and image. These interviews have been edited for clarity and length. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. What do your parents want for you in a partner?
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What have your experiences with interracial dating been like? Soo Jin comes from more money, knows how to navigate the snooty art world better, and can sleep her way to the top more skillfully. Other examples of Asian-women-as-obstacles can be seen in the series premiere, where Hannah is fired from her job because her co-worker, Joy Lin, is more qualified.
Putting aside any outrage porning about Orientalism, these passages provide valuable insight into how someone like Dunham views Asianness.
As for the men, they are initially a different species, but with familiarity, they become exciting uncharted territory. The high status of Asian women is also reflected in the movie Ingrid Goes West , a darkly brilliant take on Instagram culture. And in this world, who is the Queen Bee of Instagram? In the first season, there are two Asian characters: Diane Maya Erskine and Justin.
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Plus, Diane is kind of lame in a wannabe-woke way. As for Justin, he looks like a model and has dedicated his life to children. He once tries to hit on Molly at a party, but Molly is having a guy-related bad day and cold-shoulders him. This is shown as a strike against her, for being so rude to a good-guy dreamboat.
We have moved on from the days of Asian girls being the math dorks with thick glasses.
The Asian American gender gap is real, where Asian women and men experience life in America in deeply different ways. But are things changing? Traditionally, when stories were centered on the straight white man, Asian women had a clearer path to inclusion as the love interest. Asian men were competition, clowns, or cannon fodder. Of course, this is not to say that women are particularly catty, because Hollywood has long operated as a White Guy Fantasy Factory that impugns all competitor tribes of males.
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Every story has an agenda that reflects the experiences and desires of its creators. And now, the creators are different. I grew up in a largely white city in Ohio, and I always have been and always will be vocal about mistreatment of people of color and backwards politics. So why have my partners all been white? The first was with a classmate from my predominantly white high school.
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The next two were also Ohio boys with whom I had mutual friends and a past. I met my current partner online, and we immediately hit it off over our shared interests. My race is not one of them. None of these guys have a history of seeking out Asian ladies.
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In every case, I was their first Asian partner. I too have dated men of various races and backgrounds.