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Why would I go out to get roughed up by ignorant men. I would never say the unkind things I have heard out of the mouths of people in social settings. Whatever their issues or preference, they lack social graces. Kind manners go a very long way to making things move in a positive direction.
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I have met affluent, educated people without a shred of social grace. These people should really stay at home. I am sorry to hear about your situation with men and I fully empathize with you. Its great you have a support network of relatives who you can talk to, as well, since you have a lukewarm relationship with your parents.
Just because the men you have met are rude and inconsiderate, it does not mean that all men are like that.
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I believe that there is someone out there for you. Just as there is someone out there for me. Just hope, pray and have faith. Never ever give up. Rather than focusing too much on people who do not return your love, focus on those people who love you, ones you are not too crazy about and ones you would not normally consider. Finding love is like marketing your product in a business. If a man who started a business charged dollars for his product and there were 1 or 2 customers, he would have to lower his price for the product, so he would have more customers.
Likewise, you may need to lower your expectations of the ideal man for you. In reality, there is no ideal man out there. Yes, there are men that look attractive on the outside, but they are rude and obnoxious inside. They marry, later get tired of the woman, then divorce and later find another woman.
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They appear happy on the outside but they are never really satisfied inside. Then, there is the overweight middleaged, slightly balding guy.
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He might not seem physically attractive to you, but he might have a heart of gold, be a true gentleman. You bypass him, yet he makes you laugh. You can easily talk to him. He is not judgemental as some of those attractive guys and he simply adores you. You need to consider him seriously as your future partner because with him you will find happiness for life.
Also you need to get yourself out there. Join clubs where you meet other middle-aged people. Take up a hobby. If 70 and 80 year olds can find love, then so can you. Just never give up. Well i was certainly raised by very good parents, and so many women today were raised by very bad parents. The good old days were certainly the best since many men and women had to really struggle to make ends meat, so women had no choice since they had to accept their men for who they were when both men and women had no money to begin with which many men and women had to live with their parents.
That is a good reason why marriages lasted a very long time, and our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles had very long marriages back then. So since the times have changed, so have the women which certainly explains why there are so many of us single men today. Most of the women I know make more money than the men they are in relationships with. Many of us are about all those other things a good man can provide such as support, companionship, physical intimacy, love, loyalty, family. She could have married the next suitor so her kids could eat, but she refused to go down that road again.
I take great offense to any suggestion that women and their children should be put in that situation again just so some men can have their egos rubbed. Older men exclude older women. What some men have said in this forum about women, can be said of you men too: You can realistically expect to have your cake and eat it too. Men are very very very picky and idealistic. It is what it is. My cousin went to a singles dance with his friend many years ago and saw this girl that he was very attracted to which he said to his friend that someday i will marry her. And God punishes many of us Single men and women that would had certainly wanted the same thing.
One very good reason many middle aged men are cynical and jaded about relationships is the financial ruin that many go through after their partner files for divorce. Roughly three quarters of divorces are initiated by women. All the loneliness in the world is far more preferable to me than the wreck.
I still wear my ring, not as a reminder of the past relationship but rather, as a deterrent. Much to the dismay of most of my friends and family, I have decided that staying single is a far better choice for me. My brother just went through a nasty divorce. As you stated, you are not alone. Stories like yours and my brothers make me feel a bit better about never getting married.
Good luck going forward. I find myself going through longer and longer phases of loneliness, terrible loneliness.
I have a lot of women friends and do socialize with them during the week, but nights and weekends are reserved for their families husbands,children and grandchildren. I am kind of their touchstone to another life, the single middle aged woman friend. I passed up marriage for a career that never really materialized.
No children although I did want to have children.
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I should have cut my losses and moved on but we spent years trying to be friends. Why I ask myself? I should have started dating in a serious way, but instead I closed down and really gave up. I am 53 now and I look back and see clearly how I passed up trying and being open to finding a husband and father for the children I wanted and the family life I wanted. I am very alone and no one in my life really knows how alone. My married friends have no clue how difficult it is to date now. I would rather keep my loneliness to myself and fill my time when I am not working with my interests. I am single because men I meet and date just want sex and are not serious about commitment.
I watch porn once in awhile but i still want to spoil somone with love and affection. I even consider myself attractive too but seems nobody wants commitment these days. My last partner i made clear my feelings. Even after sex i tried many sweet gestures to win her over to no avail, i stayed with her when she needed me and tried to make her laugh and happy, always respected her feelings. Then when i finally gave up and stopped trying we met up again 3 months later while she had a new bf that she decided to come out and tell me about, i didnt ask.
I said congrats and continued my work. Same night she showed up an hour later to ask if i wanted to makeout after im off work. I looked at her with my broken heart and just walked away saying nothing. She claims to my old friends she had too many booze that night.
Every relationship ve been in was very similiar. Just people taking my love for granted and me getting fed up with it over time. I have been in a very similar situation me being in your shoes and it really sucks! I understand being scared to open up again. Same with me, although to add that every time I talk to a guy, he immediately wants to rush into a relationship. No guy that I have come across ever want to take his time to get to know me. Guys, if you are reading this….