There’s more to it than you think

She is almost guaranteed to at least read your message if only to find out if she actually knows you.

There is no magic bullet here. This is a little funny and sets a good tone for the rest of your message. This is where you want to continue connecting with her as well as telling her why you are messaging her. Try to include the senses involved in the shared interests. You want her to hear, smell, feel, taste, and see what you are talking about.

Be careful to only include positive shared interests.

First Message Online Dating Formula That Works (With Examples)

You are not going to get a response if you start off a message by saying for example:. Now you you want to tell an interesting story tied to one of the interests you just mentioned. If one of your shared passions is scuba diving you could say:. Fourteen days of diving in crystal clear waters having adventures in the local countryside. This serves dual purposes.


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  • Over Online Dating First Message Examples to Pick & Choose From.

In the first sentence you are showing that you are an interesting guy that is fun to be around. In the second you are painting the picture of a life that she would like to be a part of. Now that you have demonstrated why you are messaging her you can briefly mention a few of your strongest characteristics to really get her hooked.

How to Write Your First Dating Email - Match UK

This may sound a little like bragging and it is but it is done in a confident way that is more matter-of-fact than arrogant. If you can demonstrate confidence early when messaging an older women you will have better results.


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  • First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs.
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This is where you give a little and take a little. In this example it was from a woman who said she was great at ping pong:. It is very easy to take a message the wrong way, even one that follows a first message online dating formula.

Exactly What To Say In A First Message

You need to find the right balance and it can take a little practice before you find it. This is where you seal it. You want her to get motivated to actually send you a message back. My favorite line was:. This is a great way to connect with her and demonstrate that messaging you is in her best interest.

First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground

She is on that site to meet someone great and that just might be you. Surprisingly, though, ha ha and lol were considered ok to use. Perhaps this is because using both these terms shows a sense of humour, another trait many seek in a partner. But hehe , while still effective tends to sound a bit like a supervillain.

Now it might seem strange to say that after we just told you to use correct grammar, but messages that start off with Hello or Hi come across as run of the mill and perhaps a bit boring. So while you should avoid using netspeak too much, using slang or an unusual greeting is considered a great move. You could always spruce it up a bit and go with a foreign greeting, but make sure you know what it means otherwise you could come off looking like a bit of a Del boy. While everybody enjoys compliments on their looks, focusing too much on physical looks seems to imply shallowness.

Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately. Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests.

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Talking about your own interests can give the recipient a good idea of what you are like. Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question, so do yourself a huge favour and simply ask one. I know this is not marketing school but, like a marketer, you are trying to reel someone in. And just like an ad agency makes a call to action, you can too, by simply asking about an interest or even suggesting a dinner date.

Unless you are actively seeking a partner of a specific faith, then it is probably a good idea to leave out any religious words in your first message. Religion is always a bit of a minefield in the dating game and you really need to be careful not to offend anyone or risk being offended yourself. Strange how in the world of dating we have always been told that self confidence is extremely attractive, but the opposite holds true with regards to online dating.

Putting yourself down or being a little shy or awkward can come across rather endearing. Whereas as over confidence can often be a turn off in a first message.