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This is often easier said than done. For example, avoidance can be common with anxious or depressed people. They may not be avoiding you , but perhaps a situation that can trigger a reaction.
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You can offer support, but your partner is responsible for managing their symptoms. Hopefully, your partner has a good therapist, but you may need to find one, too, says Hodos.
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Understand that on those days, not everything will be likely to be achieved by your partner. Instead, try speaking positively about what your partner did accomplish.
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On particularly bad days, getting out of bed, eating a meal, and taking a shower might constitute success. Be involved in your partner's support system. Do this with the knowledge and consent of your partner. Learn what psychiatric medications are being taken and understand their effects and side effects. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, take care of yourself.
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Don't allow your partner to overburden you. It is like the oxygen masks on airplanes. Only take care of those around you after you are in a safe place. There are resources out there through organizations like National Alliance on Mental Illness NAMI for friends and family of people with mental illness, and you may find these helpful.
Dating someone with mental illness is not a death sentence. It is, however, something that needs to be properly managed and will require you to keep all of these things in mind to be successful. Jonathan Berg is a former non-profit executive who decided to chuck it all and become a travel blogger. Mental illnesses are scientific, physiological illnesses and need to be treated as such in order for wellness to be achieved. Learn the symptoms and then stop taking them personally. Each mental illness, like all illnesses, has its own specific set of symptoms that manifests in heightened seasons of struggle, and an important part of being supportive is understanding how those symptoms affect our loved ones.
6 Tips for Dating Someone with a Mental Illness
For instance, a person with an anxiety disorder may have difficulty concentrating, or feel fatigued and restless; those things may lead to irritability and agitation. Someone with post-traumatic stress disorder may have a hard time staying in the present or have negative changes in their current belief systems; they may feel confused and afraid by flashbacks and memory loss. No matter the symptom, it is as uncontrollable as sweating and shaking during insulin shock or throwing up during the flu, but when we decide to view these things as choices and take offense that can lead to further feelings of isolation and shame for our loved ones who are likely feeling guilt, confusion, and embarrassment because of the side effects of their illness.
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But taking oneself out of the dark and eliminating the fear of the unknown is a better way to help someone on their journey forward. It can be very hard and lonely to be the person or persons on the receiving end of these symptoms, it can feel like a personal attack and those feelings can understandably get in the way of compassion; because of that it is just as important for family members and spouses to have a network of support as it is for the person struggling with the illness.
There are a myriad of treatment options for persons suffering from mental illness: There can be tremendous success for people who find the right match and method of treatment, and who are willing to do the work; it takes support and it takes time.