Be thankful for what you have. No one can think you are fabulous unless you do. It always starts with you. When you know your own worth, it shows. You know that you would be an awesome girlfriend. You know that you could make a guy really happy. You are not right for every guy.

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Your job is to be your best, most confident self to attract the guy who might be. Just getting moving will make you feel stronger and better. Understand that you are beautiful in your natural state.


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Stop trying so hard to get the guys all hot and bothered. If you are lucky enough to have a great body, resist the temptation to display all of it at the same time.

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Focus on one asset at a time. Use makeup to enhance your looks, not give you the appearance of a heroin addict. Expecting a guy to become your boyfriend is not strategic. Expecting a guy to like you a certain amount, or display a certain kind of affection, is not effective. On the other hand, expecting a guy to do what he says he is going to do is good strategy.


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But they will totally get it if you demand respect for your feelings, your body and your time. Guys are amazed when I tell them that back in the day, when we dated in the traditional sense, it was totally legit to go out with one guy on a Friday night and make out or more , and then do the same thing with someone else on Saturday. We were dating; dating was shopping. And the guy might be shopping around too. You have every right to be choosy. In every relationship, there is a pursuer and a distancer.

Keep your feelings to yourself, or share them with your girls for now. He wants to pursue you. He wants to wonder what you think.

How To Transition From A Hook Up Or Friends With Benefits To A Relationship

The best relationships happen between soulmates. You cannot become soulmates through sex. Through pillow talk, maybe, but not through sex.

40 Signs He Wants A Long Term Relationship Vs. He Just Wants To Hookup - Narcity

You stand a much better chance of becoming really close to a guy if you allow plenty of time and space for friendship. That means not having sex too soon. Sex can make friendship complicated. Take time to get to know him. Make him spend time getting to know you. Guys appreciate a slow win. They withdraw for a bit, and then they return. If he needs some distance, give it to him. When he comes back, welcome him. There are only so many long talks a guy is willing to have. So save your allotment of heart-to-hearts for the really important stuff.

Every tear you cry for a jerk takes up valuable psychic energy and sets you back. If you are feeling crappy about some guy, you are not open to a new guy. You may think you are, but your emotional funk will be telegraphed to those around you in subtle ways. Eat junk food, get wasted with the girls, whatever. Then pick yourself up and live your life. You can be strong and independent, you can take no prisoners, you can even be a hardass without sending out negative vibes. You expect good things to happen to you.

A bad attitude is self-fulfilling; if you believe that no one will want you, then no one will want you. If you believe that you deserve to be loved and are willing to wait for that special guy, then you will find him. The more interactions you have in your day, the greater your chances of encountering someone new. Psych yourself up as often as you need to, but keep on getting out there. You can have what you want if you will believe in it.

I absolutely loved reading this. This is just what I have been looking to find for a year: Thank you so much for sharing this! Hey, letters2soulmate, happy to meet you! Love your blog too, btw. Thanks for commenting, please come back soon! It shouldn't be immediately obvious, but she needs to show me her weak side for me to even consider her for a LTR.

Girls can date around as much as guys can, but it hits a primitive trigger in a man's mind that tells him that girl isn't LTR material. We can argue all day about double standards, but at the end of the day, men will still judge women by this. My recent post Puja — Dana Pt. Hmmm, re 2, I hear that, it makes sense. But do you want to see the vulnerability up front, or after a bit? Like she's tough to start, but then you get in there and work your magic and suddenly there's a glimmer of vulnerability?

VI, haha I just spent time on your blog where you proudly describe hearing a girl say she wants sex in a monogamous relationship, then you bang her without making a commitment. Fair enough, that's on her. But come on, that girl is crazy to be doing that, especially since you have a couple of booty calls going on the side at all times.

That girl should say NO. And she should be prepared to walk.

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Because, as it stands right now, you are a terrible risk for a LTR. A girl definitely shouldn't be tough during our first meeting. That's a huge red flag that she's either too manly, or has been hurt too many times. She should be confident without being tough.

Julia Roberts is a good example. As for her vulnerability, you're right, it should come a bit later. But if it hasn't been revealed either before or immediately after I have sex with a girl, I assume she's not LTR material. I actually like that girl a lot and would consider making her 1, but the fact that she plays games is a huge strike against her.