Mails that contain these words will get practically no replies proving that intelligence or maybe just good grammar is an attractive trait in both sexes.

First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground

Surprisingly, though, ha ha and lol were considered ok to use. Perhaps this is because using both these terms shows a sense of humour, another trait many seek in a partner.


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But hehe , while still effective tends to sound a bit like a supervillain. Now it might seem strange to say that after we just told you to use correct grammar, but messages that start off with Hello or Hi come across as run of the mill and perhaps a bit boring. So while you should avoid using netspeak too much, using slang or an unusual greeting is considered a great move.

You could always spruce it up a bit and go with a foreign greeting, but make sure you know what it means otherwise you could come off looking like a bit of a Del boy.

Exactly What To Say In A First Message

While everybody enjoys compliments on their looks, focusing too much on physical looks seems to imply shallowness. Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately. Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests. Talking about your own interests can give the recipient a good idea of what you are like.

Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question, so do yourself a huge favour and simply ask one.

THE BEST ONLINE DATING FIRST MESSAGE

I know this is not marketing school but, like a marketer, you are trying to reel someone in. And just like an ad agency makes a call to action, you can too, by simply asking about an interest or even suggesting a dinner date. Unless you are actively seeking a partner of a specific faith, then it is probably a good idea to leave out any religious words in your first message.

Religion is always a bit of a minefield in the dating game and you really need to be careful not to offend anyone or risk being offended yourself. Strange how in the world of dating we have always been told that self confidence is extremely attractive, but the opposite holds true with regards to online dating.

Putting yourself down or being a little shy or awkward can come across rather endearing.


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  • Most of the time you have so little to go on —just a few photos, or maybe a short description about someone—so it can be hard to come up with something worthwhile to say. To help inspire your own messages and to give you a place to start, we put together a few online dating first message examples you can pick and choose from.

    Over Online Dating First Message Examples to Pick & Choose From

    Ranging from a simple hello or an interesting question, to funny and flirty messages that help you stand out; there are over online dating first message examples to help you get the conversation started. Megan Murray is the Editor-in-Chief of The Date Mix and works at the online dating site and app Zoosk, that has over 40 million members worldwide. She splits her time between writing for The Date Mix and working on the Zoosk product, which gives her behind-the-scenes knowledge about the world of online dating.