Confidence is projected when you aren't particularly feeling the need for your date to like you, and instead are wondering if you like him or her. Confidence is knowing that you are worthwhile and worthy apart from whatever attributes and talents you can offer someone else.

Confidence is being emotionally centered and stable within yourself and not being dependent on other's good opinion of you in order to maintain your good mood.

Finding Confidence When Dating

Becoming confident can seem like an impossible task if you aren't already confident. However, confidence is a skill like any other. The more you practice it, the easier it becomes.

Such a belief is irrational because one statement doesn't follow from the other, and because there is no evidence that either statement is realistic. People who hold this belief inevitably find the process of dating to be painful, as they take every rejection personally. They conclude that since everyone should like them, that they must have a fatal flaw that caused them to be rejected.


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Sometimes this false conclusion gets over-generalized to an extreme and people end up concluding that they will be 'alone forever'. It never occurs to such people to wonder whether there was something wrong with the people who rejected them. In reality, different people like and are attracted to a wide variety of different personality and body-type characteristics.

Finding Confidence When Dating

The selection and rejection process that takes place early in relationships is less a reflection of one's personal worth and more a statement about a rejectee's personal taste or lack thereof. If someone rejects a person because that person is too thin or too heavy, too religious or not religious enough, or too 'whatever', they have actually done that person a favor by saving them from the company of another who is not interested in being a partner. Being rejected by someone who is not interested in being a partner frees a person to pursue a relationship with someone who is interested in being a partner.

Writer and digital media specialist Patrice Bendig was 25 when she logged on to online dating in She was sent a range of matches and messaged about ten of them. She messaged another ten.

Not so appy ever after? Beware the dating app trap...

Multiple men were rejecting me, and constantly. Patrice began to avoid socialising. On Fridays, she would get home from work, unplug her phone and spend the weekend alone. After spending one Christmas Day crying, Patrice finally sought treatment for depression. Katie, 49, also turned to therapy after online dating.

Each encounter left me more dispirited. Were these men my future? Was this the best I could hope for? It was the last date that did it. I started asking myself what was it about me that made him think he could do that?


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As with Patrice, the experience hit Katie when she was at a low. He also advises not to do online dating if you feel being turned down might damage you.


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At the same time, he recommends against rejecting people after one date. Most importantly, never let online dating become a thing in itself that eats away your evenings as you scroll and swipe. Go to receptions, conferences, networking events. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.

I have low self-esteem. Is online dating for me?

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