He had at least one girlfriend during that time. But mostly I got cancelled on, forgotten, ditched, and ignored during that window of time. And then we finally saw each other again. Although much time had passed our chemistry was as strong as it had been our first meeting. We made loose plans to hang out again.
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I was disappointed, but he had shared something with me during our time together that changed my life. We talked about his previous girlfriend. It turns out she was about my age. He was very frank with me. Although this woman was attractive, he confided: I tried to throw myself into the relationship.
Without going into a ton of my history, I have some deep-rooted insecurities that Spicoli was unaware of. He had no idea that by sharing this brief tale about his failed relationship and his attraction to me, he was providing me some much-needed healing. To be perceived as attractive, desirable, and sexy by this young, hot but shockingly grounded tennis stud was an incredible gift for my shattered ego. Some time later Spicoli re-entered my life one last time.
He wrote to me declaring that he was ready for a real relationship with me. I communicated my skepticism given how many times he had told me similar things before and never followed through. We spoke on the phone on a Sunday night and he made his case. He surprised me with his realizations and intentions. I agreed to an official date with him the following Saturday night. I did not hear from him for 5 days. I received one text that Friday. And I got blown off for 5 days. So I explained to Spicoli that his idea of a relationship did not align with mine.
I thanked him for all he had done without going into the specifics of my history.
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And I wished him the best. I could choose to be resentful or angry or frustrated. But those emotions seem all wrong when I think of him. He was mostly clueless and at a completely different point in his life. In the end, though, he made me feel beautiful and desired. He got hit on all the time. If he wanted to be with someone just for a physical connection, he had plenty of other options. So many dating experiences have wounded me.
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My Interlude with the Hot Tennis Instructor
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