It’s never OK to date your friend’s ex, and this is why | Metro News

We had become infatuated with one another senior year, and we were now facing the inevitable relational shift: Our chosen colleges were three hours apart and neither one of us had a car or money. I was devastated, but a few weeks had passed and we were still in semi-regular contact. I would sign onto iChat everyday, and we spoke as if nothing really had changed. Breakups are almost unimaginably painful to begin with. So what do you do when you find out your friend, someone you also trusted, starts dating them?


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Can you talk it out and remain friends, or do you have to endure a romantic breakup AND friendship breakup at once? No matter what, you need to try and have a discussion with your friend. Alternatively, maybe this is a friendship that you need to let go of. Tell her how it makes you feel. You deserve to be heard, but so does she. Whether you decide to stay connected to your friend or cut them loose, distance is the only thing that will help make you feel better.

If you want to stay friends, take a temporary but hard break. That means no Facebook stalking, no texting, and no Twitter creeping.


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  • So your friend just started dating your ex. Here's how to deal.
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  • Chances are, things are going to get awkward with your mutual friends. You need time to be upset.

    Is Your Friend Dating Your Ex? 3 Ways To Handle Yourself With Grace And Style

    While a good chunk of my friends were supportive and there for me, my other friends were eager for me to get over it. Allow yourself the time to be upset and grieve. Your new partner your friend's ex should as well, but remember that they have broken up, while you and your friend are still "together.

    If you want to keep your friendship, the worst possible thing you can do is lie. For most people, when all is said and done, it will be more about how you handled the situation versus the situation itself. What won't be excused is dishonesty -- for example, making your friend believe it's "nothing serious" when it really is, or lying about where you really were on Friday night when you bailed on that group dinner. This will destroy trust, and with it any chance of maintaining the friendship. Same advice, different meaning.

    You've got the relationship; your friend does not.

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    Try not to flaunt it. There is probably a reason that your friend and the ex broke up in the first place, and over time your friend will most likely realize that. Don't force them to come to that conclusion any sooner than they are comfortable with. Once you've had the initial conversation about the situation, we suggest backing off and letting your friend come to you, when the time is right.

    If you've been through a breakup, divorce, or just haven't been able to find happiness in your love life, BounceBack is a place to tell your story, get community support and expert advice, and find the confidence and strength you need to move forward. Check out our Facebook page. News Politics Entertainment Communities.

    Opinion HuffPost Personal Videos. If you've found yourself facing this situation as the person whose friend and ex are now dating, here are a few tips on how to handle yourself with style and grace: Which camp are you in? Do you think it's acceptable to date a friend's ex? Why or why not? Tattoo Artists Weigh In.