A majority of Egypt's population is Muslim, and might date according to Islamic traditions or rituals, though differences occur depending on class and between urban and rural populations.
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In traditional Muslim practices, a young man or woman who is looking to marry finds a matchmaker, if he or she does not meet a suitable partner socially through friends, gatherings, school or work, according to Marriage Customs of the World by George Monger. When a match is made, the prospective groom sends a female relative from his family to the prospective bride's father to offer marriage.
The fathers of each family assess the families' compatibility and finances, in addition to the compatibility of the couple. If both families agree to the match, the couple would be engaged, while the families make preparations for the wedding. Today, Muslim partners especially in large cities like Cairo might undergo more lenient rituals or find mates without a intermediary matchmaker, most likely meeting through through friends and family circles, at school or at work, but family input into the match and participation still plays an important role. In Egypt, there are as many as six to 11 million members of the Coptic Orthodox Church, which traces its origins to the first century A.
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Dating is seen as an important step towards marriage, especially since marriage is seen as a religious sacrament and divorce is rare within the Coptic Church. As is the case with traditional Muslim communities, family members are involved in suggesting respectable pairs for marriage, though the couple is free to agree to an engagement themselves. Before marriage, couples undergo a betrothal ceremony and exchange rings on which each other's names are engraved.
Coptic Christians typically marry within the faith, with non-Coptic partners required to convert, notes the BBC. In cosmopolitan cities like Cairo, individuals might not follow traditional customs prescribed in either traditional Muslim or Coptic practices. Egyptians with more liberal lifestyles might date others casually, but with discretion, since they live in a traditional society with conservative views about the male-female relationship.
The American University in Cairo advises, for example, that public displays of affection, such as holding hands or kissing, are generally eschewed, to avoid provoking disapproving reactions from others. Outside of work and university settings, men and women generally do not socialize freely together unsupervised, even as just friends; socializing in public generally occurs in groups in public places like nightclubs or restaurants.
Egyptian Dating Rituals
Dianne Laguerta is a graduate of Mount Holyoke College with a bachelor's degree in history and Middle Eastern studies. She studied and conducted research in Cairo, Egypt during the Egyptian elections, and has traveled throughout the Middle East.
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Dianne Laguerta - Updated August 25, The shadow of a young Egyptian couple in the sand. This augments the difficulty of finding someone outside of the Coptic faith because Coptic values may be off-putting to non-Coptic women brought up in Australia. I have no doubt Coptic men and women in Australia have been interested in non Coptic partners but, because of a divergence of values and perspectives with their prospective or actual partner, found the road to a relationship far too difficult and have resigned themselves to pick someone from within their community.
The regrettable fact is that, unlike in Egypt, there are not that many Copts in Australia. The possibility of settling for someone increases in such a paradigm, which is problematic. Accordingly, it is not implausible to posit that our values, steeped in community tradition and religion, have the potential to be a disabling, rather than constructive, force.
Individuals with no religious or cultural inhibitions are more likely to be experienced in relationships and make informed decisions about their future long-term partner based on pragmatic considerations. On the other hand, Copts that adhere to traditional values enter into long term relationships based merely on a hope that certain things fundamental to a successful relationship would work out, particularly if they are inexperienced in dating and relationships.
Moreover, can two people truly make an assessment that they love someone to the extent that they wish to spend the rest of their lives with them in an environment which is not conducive to long-term relationships before marriage and where people are driven to marry to meet familial and cultural expectations? Some couples are fortunate in that regard and can click in a relatively short period of time.
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But to make an informed assessment ordinarily requires time and exposure to that person. This can be impractical, particularly if the person is advanced in their years. It is true that couples do end up separating or divorcing in Australia and that the divorce rate remains low in the Coptic community. But given the stigma associated with divorce among the Coptic community and the biblical prohibition on divorce except in certain prescribed instances, it is difficult to ascertain what marriages continue because it is based on two people who really love and respect each other and what marriages continue because of considerations such as reputation and convenience.
A shift in attitudes may be needed in order to facilitate interactions between people that evolve in long-term fruitful relationships. It is incongruous to view an engagement as signifying a period where people are getting to know each other when in Australia it signifies that the people are ready to marry. Yet there are people in the Coptic community who have gone through multiple engagements.
And people are more likely to engage in the behaviour that is contrary to the faith if they keep their relationship secret. There may be aspects of Western culture that conflict with traditional Egyptian culture, but this is a corollary of moving into a Western nation and it is important that we learn to adapt, so long as the fundamental tenets of the faith are not compromised.
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