Attraction is NOT logical.

Are You Dating a “Loser”?

Obviously some guys have some natural advantages. You should cultivate natural advantages whenever you can. But that does NOT mean you need these advantages to get the girl you want. The challenge is whether she ACTS on this attraction. Which brings us to Women get attracted to different guys all the time. This is normal and correctable. Solidify and lock in her attraction to you, so it sustains.

The best ways to do this are with Qualification get her to chase you and Comfort get to know each other better so she can reverse-engineer logical reasons to justify her emotional attraction to you. Do them in that order. Never build Comfort before Attraction. She was interested in you at the time she gave you her phone number, but it was all fun and fleeting. Touch appropriately early, touch often. Remember, attraction is emotional. Touching creates an emotional response. Talk slower and deeper than normal. And like Cajun says in Beyond Words , move like you are under water.

Women take major cues off your shoes and your hair. Luckily, these are easy games to win. When you see someone interesting, walk toward her with a small smile. Come in with an energy level at, or slightly higher than, hers. Anything else will be disconcerting to her. Asking her tons of questions contributes nothing to the conversation, makes her do all the work, tells her nothing about you, and reminds her of the last losers who had nothing to say.

Have something to say. Love Systems instructor Future had a great segment on this at the last Super Conference. Her friend being a cockblock? If you treat it like a job or a visit to the dentist, the odds will be against you. Go places where you have fun. Go with people you have fun with. At first, you will be assured that they will never direct the hostility and violence at you — but they are clearly letting you know that they have that ability and capability — and that it might come your way.

Later, you fear challenging or confronting them — fearing that same temper and violence will be turned in your direction. This gradual chipping away at your confidence and self-esteem allows them to later treat you badly — as though you deserved it. Cutting Off Your Support In order to control someone completely, you must cut off their supportive friends — sometimes even their family. You will withdraw from friends and family, prompting them to become upset with you.

Once you are isolated and alone, without support, their control over you can increase. The cycle starts when they are intentionally hurtful and mean. You may be verbally abused, cursed, and threatened over something minor. Suddenly, the next day they become sweet, doing all those little things they did when you started dating. You hang on, hoping each mean-then-sweet cycle is the last one.

Instant Attraction Checklist

They give you the impression that you had it anger, yelling, assault coming and deserved the anger, violence, pouting, or physical display of aggression. They shower you with phone calls, often every five minutes, hoping that you will make an agreement or see them just to stop the telephone harassment. Some call your relatives, your friends, their friends, and anyone else they can think of — telling those people to call you and tell you how much they love you. Creative losers often create so much social pressure that the victim agrees to go back to the bad relationship rather than continue under the social pressure.

Are You Dating a "Loser"? - Women's and Gender Studies, The Pauline Jewett Institute

Their reaction is emotionally intense, a behavior they use to keep you an emotional prisoner. If you go back to them, you actually fear a worse reaction if you threaten to leave again making you a prisoner and they later frequently recall the incident to you as further evidence of what a bad person you are. Remember, if your prize dog jumps the fence and escapes, if you get him back you build a higher fence.

If you have an individual activity, they demand that they accompany you, making you feel miserable during the entire activity. The idea behind this is to prevent you from having fun or interests other than those which they totally control. If you speak to a member of the opposite sex, you receive twenty questions about how you know them. They will notice the type of mud on your car, question why you shop certain places, and question why you called a friend, why the friend called you, and so forth.

They may begin to tell you what to wear, what to listen to in music, and how to behave in public. Eventually, they tell you that you can not talk to certain friends or acquaintances, go certain places, or talk about certain issues in public. When in public, you quickly learn that any opinion you express may cause them to verbally attack you, either at the time or later. This is another method of destroying your self-esteem and confidence.


  • dating a bipolar woman!
  • 10 Ways to Attract Women - Love Systems.
  • !
  • dating ilford!
  • ?
  • online dating bio!

After months of this technique, they begin telling you how lucky you are to have them — somebody who tolerates someone so inadequate and worthless as you. Keep in mind, this same sense of entitlement will be used against you. If you disobey their desires or demands, or violate one of their rules, they feel they are entitled to punish you in any manner they see fit. They will notice a change in your personality or your withdrawal.

The mention of your family members or friends will spark an angry response from them — eventually placing you in the situation where you stop talking about those you care about, even your own family members. Bad Stories People often let you know about their personality by the stories they tell about themselves. The stories a person tells informs us of how they see themselves, what they think is interesting, and what they think will impress you.

A humorous individual will tell funny stories on himself. They may tell you about past relationships and in every case, they assure you that they were treated horribly despite how wonderful they were to that person. Waitresses, clerks, or other neutral individuals will be treated badly. A mentally healthy person is consistent, they treat almost all people the same way all the time.

If you find yourself dating a man who treats you like a queen and other females like dirt — hit the road. The Reputation As mentioned, mentally healthy individuals are consistent in their personality and their behavior. Pay attention to the reputation. If the reputation has two sides, good and bad, your risk is high.

You will be dealing with the bad side once the honeymoon is over in the relationship. Emotionally healthy and moral individuals will not tolerate friendships with losers that treat others so badly. You become paranoid as well — being careful what you wear and say. Nonviolent males find themselves in physical fights with female losers. Nonviolent females find themselves yelling and screaming when they can no longer take the verbal abuse or intimidation. In emotional and physical self-defense, we behave differently and oddly. If you are involved in a relationship with one of these versions, you may require professional and legal assistance to save yourself.

Physical Abuser Physical abusers begin the relationship with physical moving — shoving, pushing, forcing, etc. Getting away from physical abusers often requires the assistance of family, law enforcement agencies, or local abuse agencies. Female losers often physically attack their partner, break car windows, or behave with such violence that the male partner is forced to physically protect himself from the assault. They may fake terminal illness, pregnancy, or disease. If you try to end the relationship, they react violently and give you the impression that you, your friends, or your family are in serious danger.

People often then remain in the abusive and controlling relationship due to fear of harm to their family or their reputation. Psychotic or psychiatrically ill losers may also stalk, follow, or harass you. They may threaten physical violence, show weapons, or threaten to kill you or themselves if you leave them. If you try to date others, they may follow you or threaten your new date. Your new date may be subjected to phone harassment, vandalism, threats, and even physical assaults.