While everybody enjoys compliments on their looks, focusing too much on physical looks seems to imply shallowness. Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately.
Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests. Talking about your own interests can give the recipient a good idea of what you are like. Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question, so do yourself a huge favour and simply ask one. I know this is not marketing school but, like a marketer, you are trying to reel someone in.
And just like an ad agency makes a call to action, you can too, by simply asking about an interest or even suggesting a dinner date. Unless you are actively seeking a partner of a specific faith, then it is probably a good idea to leave out any religious words in your first message.
Religion is always a bit of a minefield in the dating game and you really need to be careful not to offend anyone or risk being offended yourself. Strange how in the world of dating we have always been told that self confidence is extremely attractive, but the opposite holds true with regards to online dating. Putting yourself down or being a little shy or awkward can come across rather endearing.
Whereas as over confidence can often be a turn off in a first message. It could be that women like guys who write mumbly. Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion. These are the religious terms that appeared a statistically significant number of times.
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Atheist actually showed up surprisingly often times per 10, messages, second only to mentions of christian and ahead of for jewish and for muslim. But ideally you should just disbelieve the whole thing.
Guys, Here’s How To Write The Perfect First Online Dating Message That Women Will Actually Read
The program then aggregated results by phrase before presenting the data. No one at OkCupid read any actual user messages to compile this post.
- How to Write Your First Online Dating Message.
- There’s more to it than you think!
- 1. Make sure your profile is complete before you message anyone!
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Written by Christian Rudder. Sign in Get started. Talk about what caught your eye, picking out a common interest or funny remark. Instead of offering a line about how cute or sexy someone is, say something more memorable. This is your chance to stand out from the crowd by expressing yourself the way only you can.
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Asking a question is the best way to get someone to respond to you. So inquire about a favorite hobby, a mentioned career, if they like beer, or anything really. Just get the ball rolling.
- 2. Create an intriguing opening line!
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No one wants to be interrogated by their inbox. We live in a world with spell check! For the first message, keep it crisp, clean, and correct.