I already go years without a date or a boyfriend.
I'm thinking of a more permanent change. Dating for me has been a waste of time and sometimes dangerous. Relationships were one sided, and happy times were fleeting. I have my own life with hobbies. The best part of being single is being yourself all the time!!!
7 Reasons Not to Wait Too Long to Start Dating After Divorce
I am also done with dating. In my early 20's had 2 "serious' relationships with selfish, narcisistic men, had my son when i was 22 and dumped his father 2 months after he was born because he never helped us out, and treated us like crap. Been on a handful of blind dates that have gone nowhere but no relationships. I found out the hard way that men don't want single mothers, or at least they don't want me. I'd like to find a roomate at some point to help out with bills and fix stuff around the house, other than that i really don't care anymore. I can state that a lot of the single dad's that I have met along the way simply do not have the energy, drive nor the passion to deal with dating.
Bring an active parent raising my child along with work, I like having time to relax once in awhile without having to perform another task. That's what dating is, a task.
Here's the Right Way to Start Dating After Divorce
Raising my daughter is incredibly enjoyable, fun, stressful and I wouldn't miss any of it for another person. Add a 50 hour work week, after school activities, PTA stuff and our Mondays thru Fridaysome are full. Saturday is sleep late day, bike riding, swimming or whatever my daughter and I collectively feel like doing or not doing. Sunday is church, then more free time to have and flexibility until Sunday evening when we make our lunches, laundry, boring stuff that sets us up for success Monday morning.
Throw in a workout mornings during the week at 5am. I have never understood how single parents find all of the time to go out 2 or more times a week and socialize, wake up tired, hung over and want to keep chasing the party life. To each their own. Just different mind sets. But I hear from the older women that men their age are lazy, tired, cranky, no sex drive and boring. I've dated 2 women since the divorce 6 years ago.
I realized that I just didn't feel the need tof bother with it. My life is full. I have finally convinced enough of my friends and family to let my daughter and I live our lives they way we want to and stop asking the dumb questionstuff around dating or attempting to set me up. I accept that most people on here have given up on dating or just flat out don't want a relationship, but let me give another perspective for what it is worth. But, once again, if you have no interest in dating ever again that is totally fine and you don't have to even consider this take.
A lot of this dating stuff has to do with how a person responds to those around them if you think that no one is really interested, well you may be believing something that is completely false. Sometimes you may want to just give people a chance unless you truly have given up on relationships. I truly accept that some people never want to date again and will end up remaining single for life. If you ever did decide to give dating a chance again it is better to be cautious in dating. In other words, make sure there is a mutual interest before you ask them out if they ask you out there is probably an interest, but don't always assume their motives are wrong.
Maybe before you accept their date you might say "how about we just not call it a date but get coffee or go for a walk in the park? There needs to be a clear hint that they are really interested. If you do ask them out and they say no, then you know. If you get to know them then you can understand better at where they stand or if they are in another relationship.
I think the bigger challenge is thinking that a person is not interested when they really are. You can test this in many ways But, sometimes it is just best to rule out certain people from the outgo and not even go for them. If someone is well beyond the half age plus 7 rule, then just rule them out and move on. Don't even consider them. Then, if there is an exception you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt what that exception is But, if you do decide to give relationships a chance my advice is to just stay away from people too young and you will avoid potential problems or misunderstandings.
If you just want to be single for life that is an admirable goal. Maybe you got kids and you realize that it would be better for them to not have you remarry while the other parent is still living. Or, maybe it doesn't matter who dies first Or, maybe you have been single your whole life and have hardly dated. Maybe you have never dated. Maybe you have decided to never date. This is all ok.
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But, just know that you can give dating a whirl again None of the men I've ever dated, and even the one who married me, ever really loved me. Despite all of the times they said they loved me, they were only saying it to get me into bed. I'm absolutely done with men forever. I wasted 21 years trying to be a good wife, girlfriend, lover, friend, etc.
I just turn down every single man who asks me out now. I am so done, and it's not like it's a loss to men. They never cared anyways.
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I am in my thirties, and love being single. I am not saying I will never date anyone again, but I have not for years because I am not part of the dating scene. I feel energetic and full of life, and not like I am missing out on everything. If dating was a priority I might pursue this, but I really do not feel like it.
I never dated much in my life, my last relationship pretty much took it out of me, to the point of my weight being 90lbs, being a 5 foot 6 woman, 90 lbs is VERY thin, The day I left I felt like a million chains had slide off of me, there was no more that could be done to me, I had hit rock bottom, and felt like this person took me on a trip down the devils throat, well now 3 years later I am healthy as can be expected. At 35 years old I have no desire to date ever again, I feel in my 20's and 30's all I worried about was dating, now, I will spend my 40's to 80's living my life my way!
I am happier being single. I dont ever want to date again it is just not for me.
Perk #2: The Introverts Retreat
I get to travel and do a lot of fun things by myself. Society should not make people feel bad about themselves or weird because they are single and choose that lifestyle. I definitely agree with what you have wrote. I have a different take about this. I honestly think that some of my "attached" friends want me to date and get into some sort of serious relationship because of jealousy because I have the freedom to choose what I want to do and they cannot because of commitments that were promised by their other half. Whenever I even start to consider dating someone, I always remind myself of the past and how unhappy I became because of a lack of the freedom I previously had and a choking feeling like someone was restricting my freedom of movement.
I really don't understand these studies that say married people live ;onger than singles. I wish people would stop inferring people who do not want to date are anti-something because in all honesty, a lot of us are just pro ourselves. Even when in recent times I remotely considered dating again, I usually put that idea back on the shelf when I realized that person was not interested enough in my own comfort.
I think we all have to hold out for what is best for us, and why should we ever settle for anything less?! Could not agree more. I just realize at my age that there are probably no men out there that can give me what I want, or that I will give them what they want. I have a great job, great friends, close family members, and have arranged my life in a way that makes me happy and I think I provide other people with happiness, as well.
7 Reasons Not to Wait Too Long to Start Dating After Divorce
So, best thing for me is to be true to myself and embrace life. You did the right thing Brian. Maybe you should start a blog to help other single parents get their priorities straight, or at least focused on what is most important: You are right on SweetiePie in that the focus of those of us who are single parents should be their kids. I was astonished when I tested the dating waters that it wasn't the case among the single moms I encountered, and a far off concept to the one career single woman i was set up with.
I was even accused of being selfish for choosing to attend the Friday night football game last year all three of my girls were playing in the marching band together for the first time and going to their schools band competition the next day rather than go on a weekend getaway with her. She had found a place to stash her kids for the weekend and pointed out mine were old enough to be left alone.
What I couldn't get her to understand was that I live for these school events.