The upside about being a young mom — and there are very few upsides to being a young mom — is that I remember very vividly being her age and having little romances that meant absolutely nothing outside the bubble of elementary and middle school-dom. We met in the hallway, walked together, shared some candy, and broke up as effortlessly as we got together. Though things have changed and society is moving so much faster, which means our kids are moving fast right along with it, I figured that was one thing that may have preserved its innocence: Besides, I figured she would sneak and keep the fire burning anyway, so I might as well use it as an opportunity to guide her understanding of what to do, give, and expect in a relationship.
A few weeks ago when I was picking her up from her afterschool dance program, he was there he still has family in the school and pops up with them from time to time.
Dating Advice for My 12-Year-Old Son
He sauntered to the car and held out his hand. I said hi and asked him what that should mean to me. He wanted to take her out on a date.
If the relationship has gelled, continue dialoguing, so you know how it is progressing. Ask open-ended questions in a casual way: Establish and discuss relationship boundaries.
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Equally important is to help your preteens understand why these boundaries are there, so they begin to develop an internal compass. Set expectations in other realms of life.
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Remind your preteen the importance of remaining focused on academics and extra-curricular activities, as well as maintaining current friendships. Set guidelines about phone and internet use, too. The messages young people receive from music, television, movies, books, and magazines are laden with love, sex, and relationships.
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This is normal and means she is questioning, but not necessarily rejecting, what you embrace. They have a tremendous influence on the way your child thinks, talks, and acts. Open your home and encourage your preteen to invite his or her friends over, so you know them and see how they interact.
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Share with your preteen that the way we dress sends a message to others. Clothing should be modest and should not have provocative messages written on it. Set the standard by being a good role model in the way you dress. Honor privacy to a point.
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Allow expression of emotions. This is particularly true for boys who may think they need to suppress it. At the same time, teach him or her to make decisions based on careful thought, not heartfelt emotions. Most preteen relationships are short lived. When the relationship ends, your child may or may not be hurt, but your sensitivity and empathy toward the situation will build a healthy trust and bond between you.
Know when it is time to intervene. If the relationship moves beyond innocent, the preteen becomes obsessive, or you begin to see unhealthy behaviors, contact your school counselor or other professional for advice.