When we met, his divorce had been final for about 3 years and he had joint custody of three children, the youngest of whom was 9. He also had a very demanding job.
The youngest of my two children was also 9. Oh, and we live 50 miles apart. So, we had our hands full at home and had some geographic and scheduling challenges to further complicate things. But we were really into each other.
Like giddy, silly kids into each other. We called each other all the time and squeezed in dates whenever we could. I have found that when two people are feeling the same great vibe about each other, it's easy and obvious. You reach out a lot because It doesn't sound like that's what's going on in your situation.
You have a good thing when you're in contact but there isn't a big need on his side to make that contact happen. You want someone who's into you. Someone who wants to be in contact regularly, get to know you better, have you in his life. Go find that guy. It isn't this guy. He may be a perfectly nice guy but he's just not that into you.
Four Signs You Know A Divorced Dad Is Ready To Date
Don't waste time on trying to parse out his feelings. That way lies many, many wasted hours. He's not calling or texting or trying to set up dates. Those are his feelings. He's telling you clearly what his feelings about you are. This is the key, IMO There was no reeling going on at all. Kids make it harder, for sure, but 3 days is waaaaaaaaaay too long.
- Four Signs You Know A Divorced Dad Is Ready To Date | A Husband, Man, And Dad Blog.
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It sounds like he's just not that into you. That or he has a lousy communication style. Either way, you're clearly not a priority, so I would find someone else. My reading of this is that these behaviors are not related to his parenting. I know tons of single parents.
What a Divorced Dad Wants in the Next Relationship
It isn't impossible to date. It is even more possible when there is shared residential time. Not responding to your texts on the regular isn't cool. It doesn't sound like this is working for you, in that his level of communication doesn't match yours. Maybe you can give him a shot and tell him directly, "Look, I know you're busy, but I'd like us to have more regular communication. And as part of this, it is upsetting to me when you ignore my texts.
Then give him a few weeks to see if he can change. But for clarification - what's his residential custody situation and how does it impact your dating life? Yet he could quickly reply to you and say "Super busy with kiddo but thinking of you! Hope that thing at work went well. But, the fact that things seems antagonistic 2 years after the divorce, I'd want to know a bit more about that to assess it. This might be more of a red flag.
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To me, it wouldn't be unusual for this guy and his ex to be communicating with each other regularly about kid stuff - "Is kid's lacrosse stick at your house? I can't find it. That can be really tough for people to work through. I hope that they have a solid parenting plan in place. How is this antagonism impacting you? For better or worse, when you enter into a relationship with a parent, you are also entering into a relationship with his kid and his ex. But again, it sounds like his communication stuff has little to nothing to do with him being a parent.
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I agree with Slinga. I think that his being divorced and a dad are red herrings. He doesn't have the bandwidth to meet your needs. Respectfully, bounce and take care of you. His communication style is not compatible with a caring relationship. That's all you need to know. Sorry, I just read your question more carefully and you say you are in fact exclusive.
Anyway, I think that expecting someone you are dating to return your texts within three days or really, within a few hours most of the time is extremely reasonable. And perhaps our unfinished wounding might keep us from starting the dating process again. I will admit that getting back out there, for me, as a man, initially was about sex.
advice for dating a divorced dad? - relationships parenthood dads | Ask MetaFilter
Today, I think sex can get in the way of learning if you like the person. Get to know if you like talking to, as well as looking at, your potential partner. But if you slow the drive to the bedroom you might avoid getting mixed up in something purely physical. It can blur your vision when trying to figure out if you want to hang with this person for the long run. Half my life is behind me. I have two beautiful kids. In several previous online dates, I found myself sitting across the table from very attractive, usually younger, women who had nearly nothing in common with me.
I could see myself eyeing their bodies and trying to imagine the sex, but I stopped myself quickly, even with the fantasizing. It takes a lot to get to a second date with me.
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- 5 Tips to Help You Thrive While Dating a Divorced Dad - Hey Saturday.
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I want my next relationship to start out with the potential to go the distance. Games of any kind are an immediate timeout. In fact, I prefer the hard questions. Just be there for them and allow them to grieve. If the grieving is taking over the joy of your own growing relationship, then you may need to confront the fact that he may just not be ready to be with someone else. For me the key thing about building a relationship with his kids was to let things develop slowly and organically, like any relationship and not try to force or rush things.
They may not like you at first. It would be easy to sigh and wish they came without all the baggage. He knows what he wants from a relationship now and together we have been able to create a healthy relationship that works for both of us. He had been married so long, there were things about his lifestyle that I could tell were remnants of his married days.